Do you also suffer from the ‘always late disease’?

Finally, I thought I had found a good excuse for always being late. I simply suffer from the ‘always late disease’ and there is nothing I can do about it. At least, that's what doctors in Scotland say, where a man was diagnosed with this disease a few years ago. According to the doctors at Ninewells Hospital in Dundee, this chronic brain disease is a form of ADHD, which means you have no sense of time. As someone with ADHD, I can easily hide behind this theory.

But unfortunately, many experts are quite skeptical about this. In fact, social psychologist Hans van der Sande thinks this story is complete nonsense. Why do people arrive late according to him? ‘That has mainly to do with upbringing. Some people are raised with the idea that they must always perform all tasks perfectly. They plan everything carefully and therefore do not arrive late. Other people have not learned that and live more in the moment. They will arrive late for an appointment more quickly.’ I find it quite difficult to accept this theory, as I am virtually the only one in my entire family who always shows up very late. My parents and older brother and sister always arrive on time. It's even so bad that my mother usually gives me a different (earlier) time than the rest. Could it be because I am the youngest? No, that seems a bit far-fetched to me.

But what does this say about me? Because to be completely honest, I really find it a very unattractive trait. And the worst part is that you start to accept it more and more over the years and don't even justify it well for yourself anymore. I quote a few statements from the typical latecomer: ‘You know me, I'm just like this’, ‘Better late than never’, ‘Go ahead without me, I'm on my way’ and: ‘Let's meet in the late afternoon’, because you absolutely do not want to pin yourself down to a specific time. When people confront me with this and claim that I actually find my own time more important than that of others, I find it hard to accept. But what does that mean? Because it is somewhat of a conscious choice to make people wait, right?

Do I really always arrive late? No. For example, when I have to fly, I arrive much later at the airport than a normal person, but I make sure I catch my flight. And do I arrive late for a job interview? No, I even arrive early because I know that I normally arrive late. So it is indeed possible to be on time. Dutch developmental psychologist Steven Pont also does not believe that latecomers cannot do anything about it. ‘What I see,’ he says, ‘is that people legitimize their own behavior with the help of a character trait: I am just not that punctual. Fine, but if you say: I just limp, then you always limp. You can't say: if it's important enough, I can suddenly run. Because then I don't take your limping seriously anymore.’ According to him, real latecomers also miss their flights. Painfully confronting, but true.

Jeff Conte, a psychologist at the University of San Diego, attributes arriving late mainly to a lack of planning. If you plan well, you can prevent being late because there is always a choice. But yes, that's easier said than done, because planning is indeed something I am far from good at. Now the big question is: what can we do to get better at this?

I find it a handy tip to clock your routines. I think I get dressed in five minutes, while in practice it takes fifteen. After all, people who arrive late also think they can work magic with time. But unfortunately: there are not 90 minutes in an hour. If you realize how long you are actually busy in the morning, you might just set your alarm a bit earlier; that's not rocket science.

Another tip: from now on, focus on arriving early and also prepare for the waiting. No one wants to sit around doing nothing, so take a book or an extra phone charger with you, but especially don't dawdle because you don't want to wait. Make sure you can entertain yourself while waiting. Better too early than too late.

Last tip: make sure your house is tidy. Nine times out of ten, I arrive late because I can't find anything at home, which means I need extra time to find my shoes or the right pants. This will surely help you. In other words: just get your life in order, learn to plan, and set new priorities. A bit of perseverance is required.

Sources: Volkskrant, Vailymail, Rtlnieuws