23 things I think about when I cycle through Amsterdam

This morning I was once again furious on my bike to the office. No matter how beautiful I find Amsterdam, it is becoming increasingly dramatic to cycle through it. To begin with, it seems that after twenty years of zero maintenance, it has suddenly been decided to tackle the entire city. This means that every day there is a new street/canal/intersection closed off, which you only find out about when you crash into a fence.

In addition, the cyclists themselves are becoming more and more agitated, impatient, and antisocial. A bike ride increasingly feels like a level from a video game that needs to be completed. If you don't pay attention for two seconds? Then you're done for. Distracted tourists walking in the middle of the road, electric bikes that are all too eager to cut you off, and people driving against traffic; it's one big chaos in the city. And very occasionally, I catch myself exhibiting this annoying cycling behavior.

The following thoughts race through my mind when I'm surviving on the bike:

1. ‘Why is everyone always in such a hurry?’
2. ‘Yes, will that one minute really make a difference?’
3. ‘Just quickly grab an orange.’
4. ‘Those poor tourists.’
5. ‘Can't those damn tourists just walk on the sidewalk? Amsterdam is not an open-air museum, right?’
6. ‘Does that photo really have to be taken in the middle of the road?’
7. ‘Pfff, life-threatening, all those electric bikes.’
8. ‘Shit, I'm also riding an electric bike.’
9. ‘Amsterdam is so beautiful, huh... Damn, almost hit. Focus.’
10. ‘It's incredibly pretentious, all those people on bikes with a yoga mat on their back.’
11. ‘That yoga mat is also blocking my view.’
12. ‘Oh, those poor old folks are constantly being run over.’
13. ‘Ouch, that was close.’
14. ‘Should I cycle through a red light? No, let's not do that. Or should I? Oh, it's green again.’
15. ‘Was I just yelled at for letting someone go ahead?’
16. ‘Man, it's stressful to cycle through Amsterdam.’
17. ‘Please go to the right if you keep cycling so slowly.’
18. ‘It's still orange, please just keep cycling.’
19. ‘My god, stop swerving.’
20. ‘Oops, I didn't see that car coming from the right.’
21. ‘Am I now also an antisocial cyclist?’
22. ‘I'm not in a hurry, I'm just cycling calmly, I'm not going to be rushed.’
23. ‘Okay, I have to keep up with the pace of the rest, otherwise I'm done for.’