We all do this when we are alone
After being single for six years, I finally succeeded: I found the sweetest and funniest man and I managed to convince him to take a serious relationship with me. Super fun of course, but also a bit of getting used to. With the welcoming of this new relationship, I also had to say goodbye to the rituals that made my single life so pleasant. Or, to speak in Sex and the City terms, my Secret Single Behavior: things you prefer not to do when your sweetheart is around.
Have you also been single for a long time? Then I’m sure you’ve done these things too.
Being blind to your own mess
I don’t know about you, but my apartment is always a mess. How I manage to do this is a mystery to me. Maybe it’s because it takes me an average of four attempts to get dressed in the morning. Or because I used to have a magical floor (read: my mother) that ensured everything I threw on it was back in the closet the next day. Whatever it is, cleaning up after myself is not in my standard programming. The fact that my apartment is slowly turning into an exploded walk-in closet doesn’t actually bother me. In fact, I don’t even see it.
A dance-off with your reflection
You can’t convince me that I’m the only one who has gotten stuck in the ‘my-hairbrush-is-a-microphone-and-I’m-Britney-Spears-phase’. Lip-syncing my teenage hits with all my heart while practicing my dance moves in front of the mirror is my favorite way to unwind, and this must happen at least once a day. Personally, I think my partner should also participate in this. I mean: if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my special dance habits, right?
Ordinary lounging
Another favorite way to relax: doing absolutely nothing all day long. Rolling out of bed only to roll onto the couch, with just a few walks to the kitchen to grab snacks for your Kardashians marathon. Who cares if your step counter counts 34 steps at the end of the day? I won’t tell if you don’t.
Plucking, scrubbing, applying
Okay girls, let’s be honest. We don’t wake up like this. Without my extensive routine of self-tanner, hair masks, and skincare, I’m as unrecognizable as Madonna after her surgeries. I need at least one day a week to marinate in these products so I can look stunning for the rest of the week. And just between you and me: if we’re at it, we might as well inspect our faces for those unwanted mustache hairs we swear we don’t have.
Leaving the dishes lying around
And no, I’m not talking about a stray spoon or a wine glass that I’m not sure if I want to pour more into. I’m talking about letting plates, cutlery, and vague containers (that probably held my lunch) pile up for days. This and the habit of calmly grabbing a new glass for every drink to add to the collection makes it a good thing that I still live alone.
Using the kitchen as little as possible
Actually, this is no secret, but I’m no kitchen princess. And why would you bring out your inner Miljuschka if you’re only cooking for yourself? The single version of myself often settles for a quick bite that I eat standing at the counter straight from the packaging (because: no clean plate in sight) and repeatedly gives in when the Thuisbezorgd app looks a bit too shiny. That I easily manage to go weeks without touching a pan is something no one needs to know. Except for you all now.
