Wow: love can really be an addiction

Last week my beloved was sailing with his friends in Italy. I must say: for the first three days I thoroughly enjoyed the peace. Well, actually there wasn't really any peace, because I had my whole week packed with social activities. But still, having no bickering and not having to take each other into account is sometimes quite nice.

And what is a week anyway? Seven days; such a short period you should be able to manage without each other. Yet by day five I was suddenly fed up and came (once again) to the conclusion that I find life together much more fun. I felt lonely, gloomy, and especially very much like a drama queen, because after all it was only day five. How on earth do people manage who are in a long-distance relationship? I kept thinking.

But according to science, these feelings are completely normal and missing someone actually has an effect on your body. So it's not just drama, not even when your lover has just left the door. Well, how does missing someone work then? According to psychotherapist Puja Parikh, the emotion of love changes something in your brain. When you kiss, cuddle, and are intimate with your beloved, so-called happiness hormones are released: oxytocin and dopamine. These substances give you that nice feeling when you are with your partner, but they are also somewhat addictive.

Research shows that your brain reacts the same way to falling in love as it does to using cocaine. When you and your beloved have to get through some time apart, you want to do everything to be together with him/her again. In other words: you experience withdrawal symptoms. That also explains all those countless songs about love and drugs; it's just really true.

But what can you do about it when your lover is on vacation, for example? Well, the solution is quite simple: try to replace this feeling with other activities that can give your dopamine and oxytocin levels a boost again. Go exercise, take walks, pick up your hobbies, and especially try not to wither away in self-pity. It is completely normal to miss your beloved, so no reason to panic.