This is why a to-don't list is so 2023

In a time when everyone shares the successes of their lives with the rest of the world in a millisecond, the to-do's (and the I do's) are flying at you. Maybe it's because I'm approaching 30 and have been floating in a kind of purgatory between ‘long live the fun’ and ‘house, tree, animal’ for a while, but I've never felt so strongly that I have to do everything. I have friends who are getting married and starting a family in their newly purchased home, but I also have friends who are packing their bags and getting on a plane to explore the world. And me? I just don't know it all right now, and that's okay. As far as I'm concerned, it's high time to set aside all those deeply rooted ideas of how things should be and embrace the joy of missing out.

You're really not the only one who spontaneously enters a quarter-life crisis with all the choices flying at you. And how could it be otherwise? If you're single, people ask when you think you'll get into a relationship, and once you've found one, everyone wants to know when you're moving in together. If you've graduated, your surroundings are curious about which jobs you're applying for, and once you've landed one, they ask if you're earning enough to save for your future. Or my personal favorite: when you mention that you've been renting for six years, and Uncle Peter tells you that you really should buy instead. And it goes on like that. I understand that our generation can't see the forest for the trees because of all the choices.

In a way, it's beautiful. Nowadays, we are thrown countless opportunities, but then try to make the right choice. Talk about mission impossible. It's important to remember that you are the one who gets to make those choices for yourself. If you (still) don't feel like settling in a suburb of the city, nothing can make you unhappier than backpacking through Asia, and you never want to jump out of a plane even if someone on Instagram says you really should? I have news for you: you don't have to. All those things can go straight onto your to-don't list as far as I'm concerned.

But how do you embrace that to-don't list and celebrate the joy of missing out? Divide your time between things that are important to you and not things that seem important to your surroundings. Live in the now; you can't possibly know what you'll be doing in five years if you don't even know what you want to eat tonight. Put your phone down a little more often (I know, this one is tough); you'll be surprised at how often social media tries to convince you that you want something, while it really isn't for you at all. Say no a little more often; you don't always have to go along with others' ideas. And lastly: Take. It. Easy. You have all the time in the world to think about how you're going to shape your future; there's nothing that needs to be decided right now.

So I hereby declare 2023 the year of the to-don't list and taking back your own control. Breathe in and out calmly: the world is at your feet, but it can also wait a little longer.

Source: Psychology Today | Image: WarnerMedia