5 signs that you have ended up in a toxic friendship
As I wrote last time: female friendships are essential. Friendships based on love, equality, encouraging each other and catching each other, that is what I mean. Unfortunately, there are also friendships that bring about the complete opposite. You know, those friends who completely drain you and instead of energy, only give you a whole lot of headaches. Are you afraid that you might have ended up in such a toxic friendship? Here are five signs that this could very well be true.
They only call when they need something
Everyone knows someone like that, I'm sure of it. And if not, then you might be that person yourself and I lovingly advise you to stop this very soon. This friend is not interested in how you are doing and is only focused on what you can do for her at that moment. If she also expects you to jump into action immediately when she asks something of you, it is really time to say goodbye (or at least set some strong boundaries).
They drain your social battery
Energy vampires, that’s what these people are also called. Those people who have the talent to make an average dinner deadly exhausting by just being themselves. There’s nothing wrong with that, but friendships are supposed to give you energy, not cost you ten years of your life every time you do something fun.
They gossip like crazy
You know what they say, right? If they gossip about someone else to you, they are also gossiping about you to someone else. And preferably with a completely distorted story where you come out as the big loser. Of course, it’s nice to occasionally take a Yvonne Coldeweijer-style look at all your friends' lives, but this person always goes just a bit too far.
You can't get a word in edgewise
Toxic friends love to talk about themselves and will rarely ask how you are doing. Unless that question gives them an opening to, yes, start talking about themselves. I once had an acquaintance who would ask how I was doing, but had her answer ready before I was done talking. Go do that somewhere else.
They are jealous of you
My best friends and I are never, ever jealous of each other. Sometimes one has something that the other would like, but we see that as proof that such an achievement is also within our reach and are otherwise just very happy for each other. If you ask me, jealousy is the biggest red flag when it comes to friendships. If you can’t support each other unconditionally and can’t genuinely be happy for each other, then you can’t call yourself a true friend.
