Science says: 9 signs that your relationship won't last long
The best predictor of the future is history. At least, that’s what psychotherapist Shirley Johnson says. In a study where she pays attention to all the signs that indicate your relationship is likely to be short-lived, she says it’s best to take off your rose-colored glasses as soon as possible and observe how your partner behaves in the early stages of your relationship. In this phase of a new relationship, it’s easy to become overwhelmed by positive feelings, but it’s crucial to look at your relationship through a realistic lens. Mega boring, I know, but if you recognize the following signals, you’ll save yourself a lot of heartache in the long run.
1. There is only lust
It’s normal to be completely caught up in your excitement for each other at the beginning (and the illusion that it will always be this way), but if the relationship is solely about lust and passion without a deeper connection, the chance of an early breakup is high.
2. You can’t be yourself
A relationship requires openness and freedom to be yourself. If you find that you’re holding back out of fear of rejection, the relationship remains superficial and there’s no room for growth. I should have known this earlier when my ter-ri-ble ex completely banned certain stop words from my vocabulary. Seriously, I just wasn’t allowed to say them anymore. Absolute madness.
3. Your partner can’t communicate
Communication is the backbone of any relationship. If your partner places little importance on communication and you often feel ignored, this may indicate a lack of interest in a long-term relationship.
4. You can’t get along with each other’s friends
Your partner’s friends say a lot about who they are. Not getting along with his or her friends indicates a significant difference in life views, which could cause problems in the future. Additionally, it seems very unfun if you can never do anything enjoyable with each other’s friends.
5. Your partner takes over all your interests
Healthy relationships thrive on individual growth and independence. If your partner quickly takes over all your interests and you have nothing that’s really ‘for yourself’, this may indicate too much dependence on you. The result? You feel suffocated in no time.
6. Your opinion is not valued
Mutual respect is essential for a long-lasting relationship. If you notice that your opinion is not seen as important, there is an unequal power dynamic that can lead to very unpleasant and often unsolvable discussions.
7. You are not fully accepted
A successful relationship involves acceptance of each other’s shortcomings. If you notice that your partner only values your strengths and at the same time does not accept your imperfections while you do the opposite, you have both a relationship with a very unpleasant person and a relationship that is unlikely to last long.
8. Poor treatment of others
The way your partner treats others predicts their future behavior towards you. Be alert to signs of disrespectful behavior towards others, such as people in service (or worse: their own family and friends) and make a run for it if this happens frequently.
9. There are still feelings for an ex
If your new partner is still hung up on an ex, especially if this manifests in negative statements, it may indicate emotional baggage that hinders the formation of a new relationship. Additionally, I always find it a mega red flag if someone has nothing good to say about their ex. Statements like ‘my ex is completely crazy’ should make you sprint towards the emergency exit: there’s a good chance your new sweetheart was the main reason for that alleged craziness. So, get out.
Source: Bustle
