Dating Disasters: ‘We both concluded that it was strange to feel such a connection over the phone’

In Dating Disasters, anonymous readers share their most embarrassing, cringeworthy, and dramatic dates. This week: the virtual date.

‘Dating during the pandemic? I didn't know it was possible until I met Stefan. We were once a match on Tinder, but like so many matches, it never really led to a date. Until we started chatting again and expressed our interest in each other. We wanted to see each other, but all the restaurants were closed and there was one small hurdle: he was on the other side of the world at that moment.

Still, he had a plan that I supposedly didn't need to worry about. I just had to give him my address and be ready with my phone the next day at 7 PM. Not very smart perhaps, giving your address to a stranger, but what could he do to me from thousands of kilometers away?

The next day at exactly 7 PM, my phone rang. It was Stefan via FaceTime. ‘You look beautiful,’ he said immediately. I had really made an effort and besides an extra layer of contour, I even sprayed a bit of perfume. He admitted to having done the same and we laughed at the absurdity of that action.

After chatting for a while, my doorbell rang. I opened my door and found a bag on the mat. I skipped back into my apartment and found a tray of sushi for about three people in the bag that he had ordered for me from abroad. I managed to thank him casually, but I was a bit flustered. He said: ‘A man should always pay for the first date, even from a distance.’ He also pulled out a few rolls of sushi and suddenly we had our first virtual dinner date.

We chatted non-stop, toasted, and passed each other bites through the screen. Ridiculously cheesy actually, but incredibly cozy. Just when I was starting to recover from the shock, my doorbell rang again. I looked at him questioningly through my screen and he laughed back. ‘Go ahead and open it,’ he said. Of course, I quickly did that and again I found a bag on my doorstep. I took it inside to check the contents while he was there. Apparently, he had decided to order four (!) desserts for me as well, because he didn't know what I liked. Of course, I ate them all.

In the end, we spent over three hours on the phone and we both concluded that it was strange to feel such a connection over the phone. Since it was still unknown when he would be back in the country, we agreed to FaceTime again and maybe switch locations. Then we would just both go to the beach or something.

However, that idea quickly fell apart when I realized after a few days that I wouldn't be hearing from him again. I had thanked him for the food and the lovely evening, but the checkmarks on that message remained anxiously blue for a long time and when days turned into weeks, I decided to let it go.

So I never spoke to him again, but I do wonder what point he thought: I’m not interested in this. Was it the way I held my chopsticks? The ease with which I devoured four desserts in one go? Or maybe this just wasn't meant to be. I have no idea and I don't think I'll ever find out since he recently unceremoniously kicked me off his social networks. What I do know is that it cost me a ridiculous amount of paperwork to move him from the ‘potential date pile’ back to the ‘we're never going to see this person again’ pile. I even toyed with the idea of sending this man a Tikkie for the administrative costs incurred, but I just let it go. Like it or not!’

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