Love & Sex

5 signs that you are not in love but afraid of loneliness

By Bo Geschiere | #!30Tue, 04 Apr 2023 13:15:43 +0200+02:004330#30Tue, 04 Apr 2023 13:15:43 +0200+02:00-1Europe/Amsterdam3030Europe/Amsterdam202330 04pm30pm-30Tue, 04 Apr 2023 13:15:43 +0200+02:001Europe/Amsterdam3030Europe/Amsterdam2023302023Tue, 04 Apr 2023 13:15:43 +0200151154pmTuesday=9#!30Tue, 04 Apr 2023 13:15:43 +0200+02:00Europe/Amsterdam4#04-04-2023#!30Tue, 04 Apr 2023 13:15:43 +0200+02:004330#/30Tue, 04 Apr 2023 13:15:43 +0200+02:00-1Europe/Amsterdam3030Europe/Amsterdam202330#!30Tue, 04 Apr 2023 13:15:43 +0200+02:00Europe/Amsterdam4#

Are you still looking for that one perfect love story? Or are you already in a relationship but feel like something is not quite right? Sometimes it can happen that you hold on to your partner so tightly that you completely lose yourself. But how do you actually know if your relationship is more based on loneliness instead of love? The five red flags are listed below.

1. Not being able to be yourself
If you cannot be completely yourself, that is one of the biggest red flags in fear-based relationships. You do everything with the underlying thought of keeping that person, because you are constantly afraid of losing your partner. As a result, you start pleasing, which means you don't necessarily enjoy your time together, but rather enjoy the fact that the other person is satisfied. You set aside your own needs, and let's be honest: that doesn't make anyone a nicer person.

2. You are only happy in their company
It is completely human to want to be with your lover 24/7 when you are in love, but doing things apart is just as important. As soon as you become unhappy when that person makes plans without you, it is time to sound the alarm. That is more a sign of loneliness than love.

3. Becoming jealous too quickly
A little jealousy is perfectly normal in a relationship, as it shows that you value that person. Intense jealousy, on the other hand, is no longer healthy, and we all know that. If you really do not trust your partner, why don't you just end it? Well, then that fear of abandonment comes into play again, making you want to make the best of it. Whether the relationship improves is still questionable.

4. You have to justify their behavior
When your partner does something stupid, you are the one who has to explain it to others. That one time when your partner had an argument with your friends? According to you, that person was supposedly in a bad mood. And that one time when your partner was two hours late for your date? They just had a ‘long workday’. Deep down, you know that this behavior is unacceptable, but because of your fear of single life, you try to justify it.

5. Having nothing in common
If family and friends ask you to tell them what you have in common and you struggle to provide an answer, that speaks a thousand words. You are just with that person because you cannot be alone and settle for the first best. There is a good chance that within a few months you will have grown tired of each other and will have to go through a break-up again.