Lifestyle

Everything you think when people sing Happy Birthday to you

By Wieke Veenboer | #!30Sat, 03 Jun 2023 14:00:15 +0200+02:001530#30Sat, 03 Jun 2023 14:00:15 +0200+02:00-2Europe/Amsterdam3030Europe/Amsterdam202330 03pm30pm-30Sat, 03 Jun 2023 14:00:15 +0200+02:002Europe/Amsterdam3030Europe/Amsterdam2023302023Sat, 03 Jun 2023 14:00:15 +0200002006pmSaturday=9#!30Sat, 03 Jun 2023 14:00:15 +0200+02:00Europe/Amsterdam6#06-03-2023#!30Sat, 03 Jun 2023 14:00:15 +0200+02:001530#/30Sat, 03 Jun 2023 14:00:15 +0200+02:00-2Europe/Amsterdam3030Europe/Amsterdam202330#!30Sat, 03 Jun 2023 14:00:15 +0200+02:00Europe/Amsterdam6#

Nowadays I really have nothing to do with it, but in the past I could be extremely nervous about it: my birthday. I would have sleepless nights beforehand because I was worrying about my presents. Would I really get that hamster? Surely? I had enough to complain about, right?

My birthday was all about the moment when I could receive that hamster, for example. That my parents invited my entire family that I never saw or spoke to, that was part of it. I had to accept that I was extremely shy and hated being the center of attention. I got that hamster, so it was all worth it. But first, you had to endure the absolute worst part of your new year of life: people singing ‘Happy birthday’ to you.

I am now 33 and I still find this the most terrible thing people can do to you. I am less shy now, but when people start singing ‘Happy birthday’ to me, I prefer to crawl deep back into my hole and only come out again next year. Recognizable? Then you must have had these thoughts during this dreadful song as well.

1. ‘Oh god, everyone is looking straight at me. Where do I look? Should I make eye contact or not?’

2. ‘Okay, no eye contact, that makes it even more awkward. Just look up. At the ground.’

3. ‘No, that’s weird too. I have to do something, right? You know what, I’ll just clap along to the beat.’

4. ‘Uh… This is not really the look I’m going for. Why do I suddenly have no rhythm? And can that fake grin please leave my face?’

5. ‘Jesus, this song is taking forever.’

6. ‘I’m so done with this. They’re still staring at me. I’ve tried all the distractions, what now?’

7. ‘I’ll just sing along with them.’

8. ‘Wait, this is really weird; I’m the one whose birthday it is, so I shouldn’t be singing along?’

9. ‘I think I’ve never looked so ridiculous as I do now. And of course, Aunt Lien is filming it too.’

10. ‘YES. No way, are they seriously going to sing it in Dutch now?’

11. ‘Nothing like ‘long may she live’, I’m literally dying of awkwardness here.’

12. ‘STOP it now. Can I just have my hamster?’