Also suffering from dating anxiety? Here's what you can do about it
If there is one thing we can all agree on, it is that dating is one of the most nerve-wracking activities in life. Whoever thought that in order to eventually reproduce, we first have to go on a series of awkward, not-so-exciting, almost-dates is, as far as I'm concerned, not celebrating their birthday anytime soon. Honestly, the moment I accept a date, alarm bells start ringing in my head. What if he doesn't look like his photo? What if we have nothing to talk about? What if we have a fantastic date and I like him way more than he likes me? And the worst-case scenario: what if my heart gets broken? All of this makes the thought of a date alone cause me so much stress that I would rather not do it. Recognizable? Then you might also be suffering from ‘dating anxiety.’.
The tension surrounding dating is of course very normal, but with the following tips, you can make your search for love at least a lot less stressful.
1. Tension is part of it
Maybe the cliché of the century, but the sooner you can accept that tension is simply part of the dating process, the easier it will be for you to be open to a potential new love. So, order your first glass of wine quickly upon arrival to relax and remember: your date is probably just as nervous as you are.
2. Think about what exactly makes you nervous
Even though you are far from the only one feeling nervous about dating, the reason for your tension is likely different from someone else's. Are you afraid of being rejected? Do you think your prince on the white horse doesn't exist after all? Or (this might come from personal experience) are you worried that you are making a huge fool of yourself because you can't stop talking due to nerves? Stop the downward spiral of doom thoughts by discovering the core of your tension.
3. Tackle the reason for your tension
Okay, this might be unfair because I just said you should accept your tension, but I – as a professional stress chicken – know better than anyone how easy it is to sometimes take control of your tension. For example, if you are afraid that someone won't accept you for who you are, it is up to you to learn to love yourself and not change into someone you are not in the hope that your date will like you. Don't ask yourself: do you like me?, but rather ask yourself: do I like you? With this mindset, I have successfully navigated many dates.
4. Disappointment is also part of it
I can still hear my mother say: ‘I would love to pull you onto my lap and protect you from all the unpleasant things in the world, but sometimes you also have to learn that not everything will always go your way.’ It's so annoying that mothers are always right, but it is true. You will undoubtedly encounter some disappointments in your search for love, but remember that each disappointment brings you one step closer to the right person. Think of it this way: if you knew you had to go on ten more dates before you would meet the one, wouldn't you dive in with full force? Exactly, go for it.
5. Remember: dating is fun!
Don't forget that we are all ultimately looking for love, and love is fun! So think about where you find joy and happiness. What are conversation topics that make you happy? Do you feel more excited about your date by buying a new outfit? What is the best location to meet each other? If you manage to stay in an energy of fun, joy, and happiness, that is exactly what you will attract. And even if you might not be sitting across from the one right away, at least you have a good story for the next Friday afternoon drinks. Happy dating!
Source: Poosh
