Dating Disasters: ‘He spread bizarre rumors about me’

In Dating Disasters vertellen anonieme lezers over hun gênantste, meest tenenkrommende en dramatische dates. Deze week: xoxo, Gossip Girl.

We didn't have a special date, I was aware of that myself. Thijs and I had met each other in the pub and with a little liquid courage in our collars, it quickly became cozy. He had asked for my number and less than a week later we were sitting across from each other at a wobbly table in one of my favorite cafés. I had chosen the location because the atmosphere is always relaxed and informal, but unfortunately, this time it was different.

Where you have people who make you feel at ease from the first moment, I discovered during our date that there are also people who can bring exactly the opposite. Now, first dates are always exciting, but something about his attitude and way of doing things made me feel so uncomfortable that even I didn't know what to say anymore. He kept turning in his chair, awkwardly tapping his fingers on the table, and no matter what I tried, I couldn't get any eye contact with this man. I had never worked so hard to make a date succeed, but without success. At the end of the evening, we both slinked off to our own side of the city and hadn't heard anything from each other since.

Until a few weeks ago, when an old friend came up to me during a night out to ask if I had been on a date with Thijs. Apparently, they knew each other and Thijs had told him about our involuntary silent date. I was curious about what he had said. Something in me was still searching for an explanation as to why that charismatic guy I met in the pub was so quiet and (sorry) deadly boring in front of me a week later. I never expected this answer.

My friend told me that Thijs was telling everyone who wanted to hear how boring I had been on our date. That I had nothing to say, no substance, didn't want to leave (I think I internally screamed five times that I wanted to be rescued that evening) and the worst part: he blared everywhere that I had already been with half the city. His exact words were: ‘Oh, if you date her, then you're just one of many.’ I, as a professional single with about one date every six months, didn't know what I was hearing.

This story is now five years old, but I still don't understand the situation at all and why he felt the need to spread these rumors about me. I still see him occasionally in passing, but it also feels a bit silly to confront him after such a long time about his strange behavior. I’ll let it go, but this will always remain a very strange mystery.

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