Just about Special Forces VIPS

How did we end up at the second to last episode of Special Forces VIPS again? Time flies when you’re having fun (or when you’re a little bit scared of the staff men). Anyway, I’ve come out from behind my pillow for the seventh time today to tell you everything I thought during the latest episode of our favorite show. Although we already know it, of course, I predict another lot of forest worship, tears, pain, and discomfort, and while I wholeheartedly wish the candidates well: I don’t think there’s a cold glass of champagne waiting for them when this day (which probably lasts about 86 hours) is over. Are you watching along?

1. I immediately go into a panicky forearm support of the ‘NUMBER NINE!’ from Erik. Have I ever been called ‘number nine’ in my life? No. Do I have the ambition to take on the responsibilities of a ‘number nine’? Not at all. Do I still feel addressed? Absolutely.

2. Oh, but this I can do: burn everything you want to leave behind in a little chapel. Very full moon ritual from our guys, I approve.

3. Levi promising Erik that he will now focus solely on discipline is really me promising myself at 2:00 AM that I will really get my life together tomorrow. Spoiler alert: I have never followed through on this.

4. The conversation between Denzel and Anouk about being kinder to yourself and giving yourself a little more is something I always have with myself after that late-night moment of clarity, when I somehow convince those mini staff members in my head that I deserve a round of Starbucks. I’m just a human too.

5. Is it just me or is this the first time we really hear Thijs talk? He’s a kind of side character who suddenly gets the lead role halfway through the season because his colleagues had to shoot other films, and I’m not mad about it. We are absolutely team Thijs in this household.

6. Goodness, I said it: this is only day five. FIVE! This must feel like some kind of freaky time loop you can’t escape from. Luckily, the candidates are reassured with a: whatever happens, in a few days you’ll be back in your bed. This is what I always tell myself with every minor inconvenience. Do I now also have Special Forces qualities?

7. Please take a moment of silence for our girls who still look so mega good. I rolled out of bed this morning in a more rotten state (well after four cocktails and two shots in my collar, but that’s another story). Anouk, Lotte, Jorien: how do you do this?

8. Oh yes, with Denzel’s departure, the women are for the first time in the history of the program in the majority. Go girls, go girls!

9. Haha, I’ve also experienced a ‘forced relocation’ once. Only that happened when my cousin put me in a taxi while I was completely drunk because I couldn’t manage to walk straight anymore, but I thought I was doing just fine. Not my most chic moment.

10. Don’t worry Lotte, I’ve also never done anything during chores in my life. Team bare minimum.

11. Sander the inspirational king strikes again: ‘I have no sympathy for the candidates because I’ve experienced it myself very often.’ I’m going to remember that for the next time someone around me has a panic attack. Let’s cut it out now.

12. When I hear the word ‘stress swimming’, I immediately think of the mandatory school swimming in grade 4, where you were half drowning under a plastic tarp that was supposed to represent a hole. The. Traumas.

13. Oh my god. It. Is. Much. Worse. They are blindfolded and thrown into the water and have to save their own lives while remembering a set of coordinates? I couldn’t even remember my own last name during the fake hole swimming.

14. I genuinely think I would get lost less often if I set my navigation with Erik’s firm voice. A slightly irritated ‘TO THE RIIIIGHT’ would ensure that I arrive at my destination on time, I think.

15. Okay, all jokes aside: I’ve written down his speech about self-love. ‘It’s time for you to love yourself more. You do things for no one, not even for yourself.’ PREACH, EER!

Alright then, there are three candidates left and next week is the last episode. I want to say: thank god, but somewhere I also find it a bit sad. Which show am I going to tease myself with after this? The Real Housewives don’t raise my blood pressure like that, you know. Well, we’ll see about that. First, I’m going to train for the blood-curdling finale of this season and by training, I mean doing a lot of breathing exercises and maybe even trying not to watch the last episode from behind a pillow. I’ll keep you updated on how that goes!

Image: SHOTBYSUD