Quarterlife Diaries: 30 things I've learned before my thirtieth

In Quarterlife Diaries neem ik je wekelijks mee in alle dingen waar ik, als bijna 30-jarige, tegenaan loop. Om mijn hart te luchten vooral, maar ook om iedereen die samen met mij in het Quarterlife-bootje zit een hart onder de riem te steken. Je bent namelijk absoluut niet alleen. Deze week: 30 things I've learned before turning thirty.

Okay, shit just got real: in six days, on July 1st, I turn 30. I don't know why, but I get completely nervous every time I think about it. Not that I'm dreading it, quite the opposite. My twenties were everything I dreamed of as a 13-year-old girl: a mix of infatuation, many firsts, excitement, unforgettable parties, vacations, and discovering who I am and what I stand for. For the first time, I stood on my own two feet, and (miraculously) I’ve managed to stay upright. I'm also grateful for the broken hearts, sleepless nights, and the uncertain leaps into the deep that I've taken. All of this has brought me to where I am now. But before I became that very content almost 30-year-old who is super curious about what the coming decade has in store for her, I was an all-over-the-place twenty-something who learned a lot about life and love. So, I’m happy to present: everything I learned before turning thirty part 1.

1. If your mom says your boyfriend is no good, he probably is.
They really have a sixth sense for it.

2. Enjoy the ride
Your twenties are a constant rollercoaster of emotions, new experiences, high peaks, and deep valleys. Looking back, they will be the best years of your life, so you shouldn't want to change that: all you have to do is enjoy the ride, and sometimes it's handy to tighten your seatbelt a bit.

3. Everything that doesn't work out is ultimately a good story
How much time have I wasted trying to steer everything in the right direction, against better judgment, even when I knew something wasn't meant for me? If something doesn't go as you hoped, it's just good for the plot. Stop overthinking and move on.

4. You don't have to have ‘everything together’ before you turn thirty’
Who actually decides what ‘everything together’ means? I'm immediately voting this 1950s belief off the island.

5. Go for your Aiden, not your Mr. Big
I almost did it: shared my life with an elusive Mr. Big. I was addicted to that feeling of uncertainty. Now that I've found my loyal, sweet, calm Aiden, I can confirm that it's a much better feeling.

6. Everyone is focused on themselves
While you're worrying about what others think of you, they're doing exactly the same. No one is focused on you, really.

7. You're stronger than you think
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, especially when it comes to heartbreak. It just is.

8. Never be afraid to choose yourself
People will have opinions no matter what you choose.

9. Some deep leaps have a soft landing
The bad news: you only know for sure when you jump. The good news: it could be the best landing of your life.

10. You will outgrow some friends, and that's okay
The group you have left is yours forever.

11. Date as much as you can
One thing Carrie B and I have in common is that we ran around the city like headless chickens for years looking for love. It was fun, but also quite frustrating. My advice? Just date to date; love will show itself in due time.

12. If someone doesn't like you, it often has nothing to do with you
One more time for the people with the budget tickets in the back: people are generally mostly focused on themselves.

13. Invest in your friendships
Sometimes your besties are the only constant factor in your life.

14. Save a little money
Yep, all my money is hanging in my closet in sizes I can only dream of fitting into again, and that's such a waste. Show your savings account some love, even if it's just for me.

15. Hangovers only get worse
My panicky emo hangovers now last three to five working days, and I can't remember when I signed up for that.

This is by no means everything I've learned in the past years, don't worry. Next week you'll read part 2 of ’30 things I've learned before turning thirty,’ and coincidentally, I'll be exactly one day 30. Are you just as curious as I am whether I might learn a few wise life lessons in my last week as a twenty-something? I'll let you know next week.