Quarterlife Diaries: ‘I didn't expect this when I moved out: how often I would still need my parents’

I am almost thirty. Yep, the big 3-0 has never been this close as it is now and even though I don't mind at all, there are still a few things that occupy my mind at this stage of my life. You could call it a little quarterlife crisis. In Quarterlife Diaries, I take you weekly through all the things I, as an almost 30-year-old, encounter. Mainly to vent my heart, but also to give a boost to everyone who is in the quarterlife boat with me. You are definitely not alone. This week: dad, mom, it's me!

It was almost seven years ago that I left my parental home to really stand on my own two feet for the first time. I couldn't wait. I was 23 and my relationship of almost two years had just ended. My life had been on hold until then because I was sure we would be moving in together in no time. When I found out that wasn't going to happen, I did everything I could to find my own apartment as quickly as possible. I'll do it myself, I thought. And I succeeded: within two months I found a cozy little apartment in the center, where I still live now.

By the way, that urgency to live on my own wasn't because of my parents. I come from a super warm nest. My sister and I grew up in a small village outside the center where we both live now, and our parents are our biggest supporters. We were always surrounded by love, music, coziness, and unconditional support. Whatever we wanted to achieve in life, our parents provided a springboard that was big enough to make our plans succeed. And still do, because I just have to call them and they are immediately in the starting position to assist me with any stumbling block I don't know how to tackle.

It's something I didn't expect would happen the moment I closed the door of my parental home behind me: how often I would still need my parents. I still remember that time when it was so slippery on the road that I was sliding all over the place in my car. In blind panic, I called my father and he personally coached me through that hellish drive. Or that time when my heart was so broken that I could only cry. My mother laid me down, without asking questions, on the couch I had left not long ago, made a cup of tea like only mothers can, fed me when I couldn't swallow a bite from sadness, and cried with me until I felt a little better.

And even when it comes to less significant life events, my parents are the first ones I call. I always ask my father for advice first when I have a problem to tackle, and my mother is always the first to know about every tiny development in my life. Seriously, I just let her know yesterday that I bought a different stir-fry sauce than usual.

They are my lifeline, those two. I can't do without them and we wouldn't want it any other way. I'm not ready for it yet, but I foresee a future of a lot of correspondence about buying my first house, discussing my further business choices, and raising my children. And honestly: that's just how it should be, it makes us who we are. I think it will take a while before such major life-changing moments occur, but until then, I hang on the phone at least once a day with a cheerful: ‘Dad, mom, it's me! Just a quick question...’

So to all the sons and daughters who find it a bit strange that they still need their parents so much: I understand you, this won't get any less and you shouldn't want it to. And to all the parents who are afraid of a future filled with empty nest syndrome: don't worry. Before you can miss your children, they will already be at your door.