With these red flags, it's time to cut off your date

I was single for six years before I met my boyfriend. Long, I thought myself. During that time, I saw quite a few dates come and go. At one point, it got so bad that I was dubbed a ‘professional single’ by my surroundings. I was aware of every dating trend, always knew the perfect spots to take a date, and was forced to become an expert on all the red flags on a first date where you’d best sprint straight to the emergency exit. To spare you from more bad dates than necessary, I’ve listed them out.

1. Cars jeans, sweaters with a loose collar, or Le Coq Sportif that are tied way too tightly: no, no, and no again. Clothes make the man, but sometimes break the date.

2. When your date serves you a Knorr World Dish or Potato Otherwise. Sorry, darling, there has to be one kitchen princess in the relationship, and I’m definitely not it. Next!

3. When your date starts talking about crypto. Yawn! Just say you invested fifty euros of birthday money from Aunt Sjaan in a coin that will never take off and call it a day.

4. Talking about exes is a no-go for me on a first date anyway, but if your date calls his ex crazy, it’s time to go. The chance is quite high that your date drove the ex in question to despair all by himself, and you’re definitely not going to be his next victim.

5. Bad hygiene. If you don’t find it necessary to brush your teeth and use a little deodorant on date one, I don’t even want to know how you’ll look a year later.

6. Mansplaining, or explaining average things in a condescending way. I once gave this type a second chance, which resulted in a presentation on how he thought I should wash my hair. You don’t want that.

7. Rude behavior towards hospitality staff. Oof, if you see someone’s true nature immediately during interaction with the staff in a café or restaurant, it’s a red flag. I also gave this man a second chance (crazy, right, that I’ve been single for so long) and let’s just say it didn’t get any more pleasant.

8. Your date doesn’t like anything. This is really the ultimate turn-off. Of course, someone can’t help that, but I can’t see myself spending the rest of my life choosing restaurants based on the presence of a suitable kids' menu.

9. Your date is a big fan of Andrew Tate or listens to Alpha Male podcasts. Yes, this really exists and yes, it’s even sadder than it sounds. Run.

10. Maybe an unpopular opinion, but if there’s fuss about money, I’m already on the other side of the street. I don’t care who pays, whether it’s split or if we have to wash dishes for our dinner, but I can guarantee you that the types who meticulously analyze the bill to determine who owes what are the least pleasant people on this earth. Don’t call me.