Relationship

Science says: these are the 4 phases of every relationship

By Sophie Rietmulder | #!31Sun, 27 Aug 2023 15:15:10 +0200+02:001031#31Sun, 27 Aug 2023 15:15:10 +0200+02:00-3Europe\/Amsterdam3131Europe\/Amsterdam202331 27pm31pm-31Sun, 27 Aug 2023 15:15:10 +0200+02:003Europe\/Amsterdam3131Europe\/Amsterdam2023312023Sun, 27 Aug 2023 15:15:10 +0200153158pmSunday=9#!31Sun, 27 Aug 2023 15:15:10 +0200+02:00Europe\/Amsterdam8#08-27-2023#!31Sun, 27 Aug 2023 15:15:10 +0200+02:001031#\/31Sun, 27 Aug 2023 15:15:10 +0200+02:00-3Europe\/Amsterdam3131Europe\/Amsterdam202331#!31Sun, 27 Aug 2023 15:15:10 +0200+02:00Europe\/Amsterdam8#

Having a relationship, how does that actually work? For a year now, I have been part of a very nice relationship, but I still have no idea what phases an average relationship goes through. According to the National Library of Medicine, all phases in your relationship are determined by the levels of oxytocin, also known as the love hormone. The more stable those levels are, the more intimacy there is between you and your partner. No matter how your partnership is structured, you will always go through different phases due to the fluctuations of these levels. But what are those phases, and how do we know we are in them? I looked it up for you.

1. The honeymoon phase
This phase is recognized by everyone: in the first few months after meeting someone, you feel like you are on a pink cloud. Everything is fun, the sex is great (and frequent), and you just want to be together. You are also, against better judgment, convinced that this feeling will eventually fade. That conviction doesn’t just come out of nowhere. It is caused by the high levels of oxytocin and dopamine that occur during this phase. As the relationship progresses, these levels are likely to drop, reducing the feeling of desire. Many people are startled by this and will end a relationship, but actually, this is a very good sign. It brings the relationship to the next phase and allows you to really get to know each other (and without rose-colored glasses).

2. The dating phase
In this phase, the relationship becomes more comfortable, and partners can get to know each other on a deeper level. Often, during this period, it is decided that you are officially dating, indicating that you really want to commit to each other. Neurologically, oxytocin and adrenaline levels drop, but dopamine and serotonin remain high due to the mix of comfort and novelty in the relationship. In one word: delightful.

3. The decision phase
The decision phase is an important and serious phase in which major decisions regarding risk and responsibility are made. This can lead to increased stress levels and lower oxytocin levels, but also to heightened excitement and passion in the relationship. In this phase, you meet each other's families, you might decide to move in together, or you expand your little family with a pet.

4. The commitment phase
The commitment phase is the moment when partners make serious promises to each other. You guessed it: wedding bells! Whether you are thinking about buying a house or making another joint investment. This is accompanied by an increase in oxytocin and vasopressin (a neurotransmitter that fosters connection), promoting long-term monogamous relationships.

A very important side note: the stages of a relationship do not necessarily have to unfold in this order, and if you are in the decision phase, it does not mean that you can never return to the honeymoon phase. The phase you are in has everything to do with the chemistry of your brain and the circumstances of that relationship. Some people even swing back and forth throughout their entire relationship. No matter what phase you are in, enjoy each other and how far you have come. Ultimately, love is the most beautiful thing, and that should always be celebrated.

Source: The List