Special Forces VIPS Koen Kardashian: “I actually find everything difficult”

Yes! One of my favorite shows is back on Videoland: Special Forces VIPS (by the way, this season features both famous and unknown Dutch people). I actually don't know why this is one of my favorite shows. It doesn't really suit me at all, and I can even confidently say that I am the most unathletic and undisciplined person that exists. My mother loves to tell the story about how when we used to play ‘the boys catch the girls’, all the girls were roughly thrown to the ground, while I, as a fragile little doll, was carefully placed down. My classmates also had to deal with disappointment time and again when I (completely unwillingly, I didn't want to be there either) ended up on their team during gym class. Anyway, luckily I am now an adult, I no longer have to see a gymnasium from the inside if I don't want to, and I can enjoy those oh-so-cool participants of the new season of Special Forces VIPS from the comfort of my TV. I'm looking forward to it, will you join me?

1. Goodness, I'm already getting nervous from that intro. Why are you participating in this?

2. Staff member Erik knows how to throw a party: ‘It's going to get messy, it's going to get wet, it's going to be miserable.’ Well, looking forward to it, Eer. Is there at least a little bubble at the end of the day? No? Too bad.

3. I notice that I am a bit scared of Erik anyway. Maybe it's an old gym class trauma, but just hearing that voice makes me almost spontaneously go into a plank position.

4. Oh, great. Luckily they start off calmly. In a warehouse with your hands tied, a bag over your head, and ice-cold water running down your neck. Nice.

5. Staff member Bas is also quite the socializer: ‘By immediately increasing the pressure in a directive and authoritarian manner, we create a similar, isolated, threatening, and uncertain context.’ Okay then, Bas. You paid good attention in class during your presentation, but make it a bit lighter next time, okay? It's just more fun for everyone.

6. Ha, finally an assignment I would pass with flying colors: dressing and undressing to the point of exhaustion. Nothing I don't know from an average Monday morning.

7. In the category of ‘things I would never have believed if you had told me earlier’: Michael Boogerd, Koen Pieter van Dijk, and Fabrizio Tzinaridis (known from Temptation Island and the Flemish Bachelor) rolling through the mud in a sort of human chain. Enjoyable, indeed.

8. HAHA. Okay, Koen (aka Koen Kardashian) is already my spirit animal with his quote: ‘I once fell down from the third floor with a glass of champagne. I just stood up, I just found it annoying that my glass was empty.’ Delightful.

9. I feel so incredibly seen by Rafaëlla who already wants to give up during the warm-up. Girlfriend, I'm just watching and I already want to give up. I totally understand you.

10. That accommodation! That’s it, guys. I draw the line at a basic, cold, and dusty warehouse. Or rather, I actually draw the line at warehouses. Period.

11. Is it just me or are the days of a Special Forces operator about six times longer than a normal day? I would have long since laid down flat on my basic stretcher, but no, there still has to be a jump down from a high platform via a rope. Who comes up with this?!

12. Haha, Koen: ‘I find heights difficult. I actually find everything difficult.’ I am you, you are me.

13. I think I will appoint staff member Erik as my alarm clock. ‘Stop feeling sorry for yourself and stop crying’ will probably get me out of bed every morning.

14. Wow, it's already dark but the participants still can't lie flat on their stretcher. Is there even room to breathe as a Special Forces operator, or is that not allowed either?

15. Oh, they call cleaning and organizing their environment a ‘moment of reflection’. Who's going to tell them that you can also easily do this horizontally?

Alright, the first hurdle is over and everyone is still in: hats off to the participants. I would have given up five times already and I'm just observing this from my warm couch. I'm already completely scared for next week, where it seems like the participants are lifted out of bed right after finally being allowed to turn off the light, and not with a gentle pat on their heads. Impressive, guys. I won't follow your lead, but I gladly support you from my living room (and of course in a horizontal position) towards the finish line. See you next week!

Image: SHOTBYSUD