Dating

8 things you need to stop if you want a relationship

By Sophie Rietmulder | #!30Thu, 15 Jun 2023 15:15:07 +0200+02:000730#30Thu, 15 Jun 2023 15:15:07 +0200+02:00-3Europe\/Amsterdam3030Europe\/Amsterdam202330 15pm30pm-30Thu, 15 Jun 2023 15:15:07 +0200+02:003Europe\/Amsterdam3030Europe\/Amsterdam2023302023Thu, 15 Jun 2023 15:15:07 +0200153156pmThursday=9#!30Thu, 15 Jun 2023 15:15:07 +0200+02:00Europe\/Amsterdam6#06-15-2023#!30Thu, 15 Jun 2023 15:15:07 +0200+02:000730#\/30Thu, 15 Jun 2023 15:15:07 +0200+02:00-3Europe\/Amsterdam3030Europe\/Amsterdam202330#!30Thu, 15 Jun 2023 15:15:07 +0200+02:00Europe\/Amsterdam6#

Do we still remember the iconic quote from Charlotte York in SATC? ‘I’ve been dating since I was fifteen. I’m exhausted, where is he?!’ I think I can speak for every modern woman when I say that we have all felt this way at some point. I always think of my dear friend E when I think of Charlotte, who was also single for many years before the perfect man suddenly fell into her lap. She had it all: a good job, a beautiful house, can cook fantastically, and I don’t know anyone who has as much love to give as she does. ‘What am I doing wrong?’ she often asked us. A question I have also asked a hundred times myself. Now, I’m not claiming that you’re doing everything wrong if you do or have done all the things below, but there are definitely things you should stop doing if you want a serious relationship. Curious about what these things are? Read on quickly:

1. Chasing the perfect partner
Newsflash: the perfect partner does not exist. Sure, there will be people who come close to your ideal image, but everyone has something that doesn’t quite do it for you. Avoid an endless search and guaranteed disappointment and be open to people with different traits and interests.

2. Switching partners too quickly
You’re not doing anyone a favor by rushing through the dating jungle like a headless chicken without taking a moment to consider the person you’re currently dating. Love at first or second sight is more common than you think, so give it time.

3. Focusing too much on one partner
I know, it seems almost like rocket science: don’t switch partners too quickly but also don’t stay with one person for too long. The danger here is that when you start to like someone, you tend to drop other connections that might also be really nice. So keep your eyes open and be honest about this with your dates.

4. Holding on to the past
It’s very tempting to linger in old heartache and to develop trust issues when it comes to building a new relationship. Remember that your ex is your ex for a reason and you owe your new partner a clean slate and a fresh chance.

5. Avoiding communication
Communication is the key to any successful relationship. Dare to express your feelings (without immediately planning your wedding) and be honest about what’s going on in your mind. Say it with me: playing hard to get is so out of fashion.

6. Focusing too much on the future
While it’s important to have your goals and ambitions, being too focused on the future doesn’t always work out well for you. Especially enjoy the moment and dare to look ahead cautiously after a while without naming your non-existent children after a date or five. If all goes well, you’ll have plenty of time for that.

7. Expecting someone else to complete you
I’ll say it one more time: stop this. I’m not going to bore you with clichés like ‘love yourself first’, but there is no one on earth who can complete you but yourself. It’s important to realize that you are responsible for your own happiness and fulfillment. A healthy relationship should be an addition to your life, not a replacement. Shit, I’ve fallen headfirst into a cliché.

8. Being in too much of a hurry
Yes, you need to relax a bit. While a date with too much haste can be a major turn-off, it’s also not necessary to force the timeline of your relationships. Finding a serious relationship takes time and patience. Let things unfold naturally and trust that the right person will come into your life at the right time.