The 3 basic principles of being happy
This may sound very heavy and intense, but that is not how it is intended. I have always thought that, at my core, I am not necessarily a happy person. I have certainly experienced my dark times, and I am always aware that they lurk around the corner. ‘Being happy’ is therefore something I am always actively working on. Especially in winter, because my winter depressions are not great. Every winter, I learn a little more, and this winter I have benefited greatly from the following tools. According to many psychologists, these are the three basic principles of ‘being happy’; it helped me enormously because it does not involve very drastic changes. You can start with this today, and certainly points 1 and 2 will quickly yield results. Is this the key to happiness? I wouldn't dare to claim that, but it is at least a start.
1. Do the opposite of what you feel
This sounds very strange, but it is a method that many psychologists swear by. An example: when you are very angry at someone, walk away when you would rather scream at that person. Side note: you should apply this to negative emotions. If you are sad and would prefer to stay in bed all day, then get up and even better: go outside. Why does this help? Negative emotions need to be fed to grow. By not giving in to them and doing the opposite of what this emotion makes you want to do, the negative emotions become less strong. Additionally, you focus on actions and not on your emotions (because you are going to do something else while you still don't feel different), but if you maintain this for a longer period, the emotions will follow this pattern and the negativity will thus decrease.
2. Compassion for yourself
It's actually so strange: we never have trouble having empathy for our surroundings, yet we are often very hard on ourselves. We are forgiving towards others; if someone makes a mistake, we are often inclined to show understanding, forgive that person, and assume there are no bad intentions. But the pressure and judgments we impose on ourselves are often much harsher, leading to negative feelings within us: you feel ashamed, guilty, or sad. That is precisely why compassion and understanding for yourself are very important. In short: be a little kinder to yourself.
3. Set positive goals for yourself
Setting goals is very beneficial for a happy life; otherwise, monotony is always lurking. Days can start to look alike, which can feel monotonous and not really satisfying. By setting goals for yourself, everything gains more ‘purpose’. You are working towards something, and — because they are positive goals — you also look forward to them. Some people swear by the 3-3-3 technique, three small goals that you can achieve in the next six months. It doesn't matter how small or large they are: booking a vacation, going for a hike, or finishing a book. Additionally, you set three medium-sized goals for yourself that you can achieve in six months to eighteen months. Finally, you set three last, large goals: goals that you have five years for. By achieving these nine goals in total, you are always engaged in something positive and also experience satisfaction from achieving a goal.
Source: PsychologyToday.com
