This is how you know if someone is really listening to you

Sometimes I'm talking to someone and I really wonder if that person is actually registering what I'm saying. Then you have a certain feeling that says: ‘this person is totally somewhere else with his/her head.’ It has happened regularly that I was right, because at the end of my story I then get a vague affirmative answer or I have to tell exactly the same story again a week later — which is then received with great interest because it wasn't listened to the first time.

Very annoying. But how do you know if someone is really listening to you? According to psychologists, there is a very simple trick that you can apply in any conversation, then you immediately know if they are paying attention to your story.

This trick is actually so simple and obvious, but still very effective: you ask the other person if they know or understand what you are saying.

That’s it. How easy is that? Just check in the middle of your story with someone: ‘Do you understand what I'm saying?’ This can be during a meeting, with friends, in fact in any conversation you have. By asking this question, you give the other person the opportunity to process and take in all the information you are telling because you are asking for a response.

This can also be, for example in a pitch, the question: ‘What do you think of my ideas?’ As long as it is a simple question where the other is expected to make some sort of summary in his/her head, because a substantive answer is expected back, and that of course doesn't happen if there hasn't been any listening.

If that person hasn't listened, then they will certainly do so afterwards, because they naturally feel caught. Therefore, it is important that you don't do it at the end of your story, but somewhere in the middle.

I am not responsible for the awkward moments that this trick may bring when people get caught...