Body & Mind

Everything you think at the gynecologist

By Bo Geschiere | #!31Mon, 22 May 2023 17:30:11 +0200+02:001131#31Mon, 22 May 2023 17:30:11 +0200+02:00-5Europe\/Amsterdam3131Europe\/Amsterdam202331 22pm31pm-31Mon, 22 May 2023 17:30:11 +0200+02:005Europe\/Amsterdam3131Europe\/Amsterdam2023312023Mon, 22 May 2023 17:30:11 +0200305305pmMonday=9#!31Mon, 22 May 2023 17:30:11 +0200+02:00Europe\/Amsterdam5#05-22-2023#!31Mon, 22 May 2023 17:30:11 +0200+02:001131#\/31Mon, 22 May 2023 17:30:11 +0200+02:00-5Europe\/Amsterdam3131Europe\/Amsterdam202331#!31Mon, 22 May 2023 17:30:11 +0200+02:00Europe\/Amsterdam5#

Here we can unanimously agree as women: the appointment with the gynecologist is just as bad, if not worse, than a visit to the dentist. It always feels a bit awkward, being so open and exposed in the charming stirrups with two strangers who are going to examine everything down under. A lot goes through your mind, but you just want to pull up those panties as quickly as possible. Recognizable? Then the following thoughts will surely sound familiar to you.

1. Please let it be a woman this time.

2. Unfortunately, a man. I really can't catch a break, can I?.

3. Can an extra assistant come to watch? Of course, that’s fine. So cozy.

4. I haven't even been in for two seconds and I'm already being asked to move behind the curtain.

5. Okay, socks on or off? Going without socks is unnecessary, but keeping them on isn’t a good look either.

6. Don't forget to somewhat decently hide those panties too.

7. Here I am walking with my tail between my legs, tugging at my shirt to cover up for as long as possible.

8. I feel so extremely uncomfortable with myself. What on earth am I going to talk about later?

9. Just my luck that I forgot a few spots while shaving yesterday. That guy will probably think: she went for leopard print.

10. So there you are with your legs wide in the stirrups. Hurry up. And very quickly, please.

11. Let me just focus on one point. Anything to avoid eye contact.

12. Yesss, there it is: the metal duck bill. It feels like this tool is from the Middle Ages and hasn't changed since then.

13. If you thought it couldn't get worse, he now pulls out the echo stick. That already makes me feel warm. Unfortunately, not in a good way, I can tell you.

14. ‘Breathe in and out very well.’ If you say this to me, I’m going to hyperventilate.

15. Wow, that gel feels so cold.

16. Could he smell something down there?

17. And can he see if you had sex the night before?

18. Hopefully, there won't be a load of blood from my period last week.

19. He'll come home tonight and start at the dinner table: ‘I had a lady today…’

20. Well, so be it. He must be used to something.

21. One minute feels like one hour. Is he finally done?

22. Just say a little prayer so that no queef slips out later.

23. Okay, I was lucky this time. Last time was a different story.

24. Just hand me that cloth quickly. That gel feels so gross.

25. And now, as fast as I can, back into my clothes and out that door. Hallelujah.

26. I don't know what's more uncomfortable: the appointment itself or all the eyes on you as soon as you walk out of the consultation room.

27. Anyway, see you in three years. I can't wait.