12 signs that you are trying to force a relationship

You've been dating the same person for a while and everything seems to be going okay, but that one question keeps haunting your mind; is this it? Your doubts already say enough. And if you recognize the following signals, then this is the signal that you might need to put an end to it.

You want more of a relationship than the person

When more and more friends are getting into relationships and you're the only single one, it can be quite confronting at times. You feel increasing pressure to find a nice and fun partner so you don't show up alone at that party again. The only danger: the harder you search, the more complicated it becomes, and you might start a relationship without really being happy about it. It's good to take some time to think about what you really feel about the other person. Suppose he suddenly moves to the other side of the country; are you then willing to keep putting in the effort? Or is it not worth it? If you end up with option two, then you know it's probably not right for you.

You remain insecure

Nothing is more important than being able to be yourself in a relationship. If you constantly have to watch what you do and say because you're afraid things will go wrong between you, then that's quite a red flag. That constant insecurity is incredibly exhausting, and a relationship should never be like that; it should give you energy.

The relationship is stuck in arguments

Every couple has arguments sometimes; you can't always agree with each other. What matters is how you move forward. If both of you are too focused on who is right and can't let go of the argument, the tension between you will only get worse. Your relationship should come first, not who wins the discussion. If your arguments are never really resolved, then there's no point in forcing it.

You show your love mainly in public

Not all couples like to show affection in public; intimate Instagram photos and kisses at a party aren't necessary. It's perfectly okay if you want to keep that intimacy just for yourselves. If the situation is the other way around, then it is a problem. If you only show that spark on social media and in front of others, and it completely disappears in private, then your relationship might be more of a performance for the outside world than real love. That's not the intention.

You want to change too much about your partner

Every partner has that one quirky trait that you'd like to change. But if your list of irritations is longer than the list of things you like, then you might want to ask yourself if the other person is really a good fit for you. You don't have to do everything the same way, but you should be able to accept each other's differences. Even in terms of appearance, small changes shouldn't be the deciding factor. If you're truly attracted to someone, it's because of their energy and what they radiate. If that attraction suddenly disappears with a new haircut or different style of clothing, then your connection might have been purely physical. And that's not the foundation for a relationship you would want.

You have to pretend to be interested

Maybe your partner is a huge horror fan and you want nothing to do with it. You probably won't have exactly the same hobbies and interests, but that's okay too. Doing your own thing is just as important as sharing everything together. What is a must, however, is that you allow each other to pursue your own passions and also show interest. If your partner enthusiastically tells you about that new fantastic movie, that energy should make you really happy. Seeing someone you care about so happy is nice for you too, right? If you always have to force a smile when the other wants to share their passion, then your spark probably isn't strong enough.

Thinking about a life together doesn't excite you

Fantasizing about a future together should be exciting and fun. That happily ever after can't start soon enough. But just because you can envision spending your life together doesn't always mean you'll be happy about it. If the thought of living together forever already makes you anxious, then you can be sure that future together isn't in the cards.

You only feel good with them in certain settings

After every date night, you're on a high from being in love; but when you spend a day with your family, you can't stand your partner and it seems like you can't be more different from each other. Your dynamic can vary quite a bit depending on the situation. One-on-one might have a bit more romantic tension, while with friends it's more casual. But if things are right, one thing should remain the same: you feel good with the other person. If you don't feel comfortable with your partner in every situation, then you probably don't match.

There is no trust

A relationship without trust is asking for trouble. If you can't be sure that your partner is loyal, then they're definitely not the one. But this also applies to smaller things, like knowing that someone keeps their promises and is honest when you ask something. Respect, trust, and commitment are essential in love. If you're constantly worried about what your partner is doing when you're not around, then your relationship ultimately won't work; forcing it doesn't make sense.

Communication is one-sided

As partners, you're also a kind of sounding board for each other. It's wonderful to be able to vent all your worries and get honest advice. Research shows that couples who listen well to each other have a stronger relationship. Nothing is more frustrating than realizing that your partner isn't paying attention at all while you're pouring your heart out. You feel unheard and not taken seriously, and that shouldn't be the case in a relationship.

You don't have a deep emotional connection and friendship

You can have superficial conversations with anyone. With your partner, you want to be able to talk about more serious topics. You should be able to share your deepest thoughts and feelings. Otherwise, your bond isn't any different from that with a distant acquaintance. On the other hand, you don't always have to be mega serious. ‘I married my best friend,’ you've probably heard before. A friendship as the foundation of a relationship is actually very good according to experts. You should also be able to laugh together a bit. It's all about balance. Being too serious or too silly won't work for a long relationship.

You're not on the same page

To share your life with someone, it's nice if you have somewhat the same goals and find the same things important. If you like to spend a lot of time with family and your partner doesn't want to make an effort for that, then that will clash and lead to arguments. Also, in terms of intimacy, humor, and what you're really looking for in a partner, it's helpful to be on the same page. If your expectations are too far apart, your relationship will always require a lot of effort. And love should never feel that way.

Source: The Every Girl, Image: Emily in Paris Netflix