Dating

Datinglife: 5 tips for single parents

By Isabel ten Brink | #!30Tue, 23 Apr 2024 16:30:14 +0200+02:001430#30Tue, 23 Apr 2024 16:30:14 +0200+02:00-4Europe/Amsterdam3030Europe/Amsterdam202430 23pm30pm-30Tue, 23 Apr 2024 16:30:14 +0200+02:004Europe/Amsterdam3030Europe/Amsterdam2024302024Tue, 23 Apr 2024 16:30:14 +0200304304pmTuesday=9#!30Tue, 23 Apr 2024 16:30:14 +0200+02:00Europe/Amsterdam4#04-23-2024#!30Tue, 23 Apr 2024 16:30:14 +0200+02:001430#/30Tue, 23 Apr 2024 16:30:14 +0200+02:00-4Europe/Amsterdam3030Europe/Amsterdam202430#!30Tue, 23 Apr 2024 16:30:14 +0200+02:00Europe/Amsterdam4#

Regardless of what your reason is for being single (consciously single, shared parenting with friends, divorced, or single due to other circumstances), there are more and more single parents, and it’s not strange that there is often a desire to have a love life as well. There can be a lot of doubts about this, as there are quite a few ways to approach it, and there isn’t really one right way. Depending on what you are looking for, you will make different choices regarding dating apps and what kind of dates are planned. These tips are particularly aimed at dating for those looking for a long-term relationship. What do you include or exclude on your profile? And when do you introduce your child(ren) to your lover?

Here are 5 tips for anyone who is unsure about these kinds of ‘single parent date’ issues:

1. When you create a profile on a dating app, you might wonder whether or not to indicate that you have children. If you do include it on your profile, some types will likely swipe away because they find that difficult. That’s exactly the reason why it’s better to be honest about it. You don’t want to waste a free evening on people who would reject you for that reason, do you?

2. Starting to talk about all the things that make single parenting so tough on a first date is not a good plan. Personally, I prefer to emphasize the fun things in life for myself, which is also more enjoyable to share with the person you are meeting for the first time. And especially for someone who doesn’t have children, it becomes less attractive to continue dating someone who mainly talks about the downsides of having kids.

3. You might not want to introduce your new lover to your children too quickly. However, it’s wise not to wait too long. Of course, it’s not something you want to do within the first few dates; for both parties, you might be moving too fast. But doing something fun in a low-key way that includes the kids, not immediately introducing your new love but starting on a friendly level, can be smart because then you immediately know if everyone gets along well. It would be a shame to find out after months that it’s never going to work with all of you. For your beloved, it’s also a kind of 1 + 1 deal (or +2, 3, 4, etc.): at some point, they also want to see who they are getting for free.

4. In relation to point 3: don’t go too fast either. So when you’ve told the kids that you are in love and you’ve put the label ‘dating’ on your relationship with your lover, don’t let your beloved stay over a few nights a week at your place right away. That’s really too big of a transition for your kids, suddenly having an extra person in the house.

5. Don’t forget that you also need to pay attention to your date when you have a nice date planned. Don’t constantly talk about your children (not that you should avoid the topic entirely, but you know what I mean). Your lover wants to get to know YOU first, and your relationship is also separate from the relationship your beloved has to build with your children if he or she is going to stick around.

Also not unimportant: enjoy the process. It’s just super fun to start dating again, and that is also a form of me-time, whether it leads to a long-term relationship or you’re just seeing what else is out there.

Image: @kyliejenner