Jacky's husband cheated, and with this flavorful dish, she took her revenge.
‘Just be careful with him, he’s a real casanova,’ my friends said when I met G. But when he brought out his irresistible charm, there was no turning back. Of course, he cheated, Jacky knew that too. Frequently. With this dish, she took revenge.
His personally tailored compliments, little attentions, and kisses as if it were his life’s mission… I quickly succumbed to his siege. Of course, I succumbed. Which woman in her right mind wouldn’t fall for such a catch? None, it turned out. G. always cheated.
WITH GARLIC AND MELTED CHEESE
Secretly, and when that didn’t work, less secretly. I didn’t dare to make a point of it, afraid of the consequences. By now, we had a twin together and as a child of divorced parents, I wanted to do better. Besides: if you’re exposed to something long enough, you get used to it.
So I told myself that I had a pretty good marriage, thinking away the affairs. G. helped with the household, was kind to the children, and cooked regularly. He liked everything with garlic and melted cheese.
NOT EASY TO SWALLOW
He did more than the men I knew from my friends’ stories. Also outside the home, unfortunately. G. always felt that another woman than his own was better, more fun, and prettier. In recent years, it got worse. Roughly speaking, he stuck his penis in everything.
He did it with women he knew through work, with at least two women he knew from padel, and, a sexual faux pas too many, also with my favorite cousin. When my doctor later diagnosed me with pubic lice, it was the last straw. I was both furious and disgusted, and it was truly hard to swallow this.
SNACKING ON ALL DELICACIES
Some people cry at such extraordinarily unpleasant news, others remain cool-headed and feel a burning desire to repay injustice with injustice. I belong to the latter category. Not classy, I know that too, but this dish wouldn’t be eaten cold. Ha! Strangely enough, the idea popped into my head immediately.
That afternoon, I had been in the garden exterminating ground elder and encountered quite a bit of pests like thick worms and slugs. Harmless and often useful creatures that also cause quite a nuisance. They come out secretly at night and nibble on all the delicacies they encounter on their way. Just like G., actually.
THROUGH THE BLENDER
Fortunately, I hadn’t been too rigorous in my extermination; I effortlessly gathered a few more worms, some earwigs, a handful of woodlice, and a homeless slug. Just as effortlessly, I tossed my ecological find into the blender. I added a can of tomato paste, a whole clove of garlic, and some olive oil. A strange excitement coursed through me as I warmed up the pasta sauce.
GOOD MIXING
Then I put a pot of water on. I ground some sea salt from the mill and applied so much force that my knuckles turned white. As the kitchen window fogged up, new aromas spread through the house. After the spaghetti was cooked and drained, I put it in the pan with the sauce so that the ingredients could mix well.
ULTIMATE REVENGE DISH: SPAGHETTI GARDINO
With the kids, I quickly ate a pancake. They were already in bed when G. came home a few hours later. He walked into the kitchen enthusiastically. He loosened his tie. I said I had already eaten with the kids, but that I had pasta for him that just needed to be warmed up. ‘Delicious, darling,’ he replied, as I generously grated cheese over his pasta. ‘I’d love a glass of wine with that.’ He poured one for me too.
I didn’t have to force a smile. ‘Help yourself,’ I said, and we toasted to his special spaghetti gardino. He eagerly served himself from his steaming plate. From time to time, he groaned as a sign that words fell short.
Jacky’s name is fictionalized for privacy. Her real name is known to the editorial staff.
