We all suffer from the perfect moment syndrome
It's that time again: I've self-diagnosed myself with yet another condition. This time, fortunately, I haven't driven myself crazy with all the terrible things you can get as a human (all my fellow hypochondriacs understand this), but I have discovered that I suffer immensely from the perfect moment syndrome: a condition where we have extremely unrealistic expectations of special life events that are also absolutely unattainable.
Does this sound a bit vague to you? Then think about your birthday, graduating, or even the beginning of this week when we all welcomed a new year. How long did you spend planning the perfect outfit, the ideal location, and the action plan of the day to ensure it would be the best evening ever? And how disappointed were you when it turned out to be a perfectly fine evening, but your expectations were so high that everything felt a bit ‘meh’ at the moment of truth? Exactly. If you recognize this, you absolutely suffer from the perfect moment syndrome.
I blame social media for this. How can you ever measure up to the carefully edited highlight reel of someone who can make it seem like every moment in their life is perfect? All you get from this is a kind of imposter syndrome and increasing pressure to make special events in your life go flawlessly, something that is downright impossible. While it's perfectly normal to have expectations for important moments in your life, it's important not to get too attached to the outcome. Things sometimes go wrong: c'est la vie.
Do you find it hard to take off your perfectionist glasses when it comes to important events? Then try this:
1. Discover the core
Where do those unrealistically high expectations actually come from? Maybe it has to do with the way you were raised or you recognize patterns from your childhood. Awareness of your own behavior is the key to turning off (or at least snoozing for a while) the perfect moment syndrome.
2. Meditation
When we meditate, our body calms down and our mind finds peace. This allows us to change our behavior more quickly. Meditation promotes mindfulness, enabling you to live more in the now, instead of already being in your head at your future event. When we are present in the moment, we plan less, think less ahead, and can derive joy from the here and now.
3. Be realistic
Be clear and realistic. List your expectations and try to be honest with yourself about achieving them. Are they attainable? Why or why not? And why do you actually expect things to go a certain way? How would it feel if it went another way? Write down all the answers to these questions in a journal and try to find peace in the fact that we are all just human and we can never fully predict the future.
