These are the fun aspects of being a single mother

Last week I was at a school gathering where I got talking to a few mothers I didn't know yet. A few of them didn't know that I am a single mother of my 11-year-old son, and I quickly got the standard question: “Isn't that very tough?” Coincidentally, a few days later I read a column by another single mother, who listed all the heavy moments that come up when you are single. It ranged from thinking about passports before going on vacation to figuring out what to cook and everything in between. To be honest, I found this really super annoying.

Of course, it is sometimes complicated that you have to do a lot on your own. When it comes to parent-teacher meetings, organizing parties, or wanting a night out (when he was a bit younger), for which a babysitter has to be arranged first as standard. But still, I mainly see the advantages and the beautiful moments we experience together, precisely because it’s just the two of us. There is quality time every day, no miscommunication regarding parenting; I decide how it goes. But the most important thing: I am present for all the big moments in his life, because I don’t share those kinds of days with the other parent (for example, because ‘it wouldn’t work out with work’). I think that’s why my son and I have a super strong bond. We can talk about everything, I know all his friends and their parents because I am always at the schoolyard, picking him up from parties or going to football to see him score a few goals.

So yeah, I could say how annoying it is that I always have to take out the trash, do the groceries, figure out what we’re going to eat, and fill the cat's bowl with kibble. I find it more annoying that you do all this while there’s a lazy man sitting on the couch. And of course, life in Amsterdam is expensive and I have to finance all of this on my own, but that has made me super ambitious, allowing me to finance everything by myself. Focusing on a few small trivial downsides is just not something I like to spend my energy on. I prefer to think about all the nice things it brings, because that outweighs it, as far as I’m concerned.