This toxic dating trend makes online dating a lot harder
Catfishing we all know by now, but have you ever heard of its smaller sister? Enter kittenfishing. Less extreme, but just as deceptive. Whereas catfishing is all about a made-up identity, kittenfishing is all about quietly twisting reality. Think of using old photos where you just get a good angle, a few extra inches in length, or a career that sounds just a bit more exciting than in reality. Tempting it certainly is, because who wouldn't want to give themselves an extra bit of credit? But if you think about it more deeply, you soon come to the conclusion that kittenfishing sets the tone for disappointment. At some point, you really do have to show yourself as you are.
To save yourself that awkward date, here are some tricks you can easily spot kittenfishers. Cue them.
Throwback photos
Kittenfishers love old photos. They are only too happy to use an old holiday photo where they have a nice tan, were a few kilos lighter and there was not yet a wrinkle in sight. There's nothing criminal about that in principle, but I'm guessing you'd really rather be looking for the current picture anyway - not someone who was at their best in 2018.
Twisting height or age
Men in particular are often accused of this, but women can do something about it too. Adding those extra few inches to your height, or throwing up your birth year by a year or two: it seems harmless, but the truth always comes out in the end.
Filters
From thicker lips to smooth skin - filters are kittenfishers' very best friend. There is nothing wrong with a filter now and then, but a feed that is full of photos where FaceApp has obviously been working overtime? Then alarm bells should be ringing.
Always the same standard pose
Is your match in the exact same pose in every photo? Always a certain side of the face or invariably wearing a cap? Chances are you are dealing with a bit of insecurity here, which in itself is totally okay. But beware: if you don't get a good picture of someone in any photo, it could be a signal that someone is pretending to be different from reality.
A perfect feature on paper
A classic among kittenfishers: the just a bit better-sounding profile. Suddenly it is a lot easier to have got that promotion or to have travelled the world a bit longer. That may sound interesting to the outside world, but in the end it is counterproductive. Those who are not honest about their lives and achievements actually show that they are not happy with who they are. And say it yourself: who wants to build a relationship with someone who doesn't even dare to be themselves?
That someone is afraid to be themselves is where the whole kittenfishing phenomenon comes from. It is a way of hiding certain characteristics of yourself that you are insecure about. The dating app culture anno 2024 is well based on an online profile where you are judged on your looks and lifestyle. No wonder, then, that many people try to make this look better than it actually is.
Still, you have to watch out for it, both with yourself but also with others. Kittenfishing is a form of lying, which is a negative omen for what is to come if you take up a relationship with such a person. Indeed, lying can then become the norm. And after all, we all know how that ends.
Source: psychologytoday.com
