All the things you think during your driving lesson

Although I am not afraid of many things in life, I was getting a driver's license definitely a little task that I was all too eager to avoid. The reason for this is simple: I just found driving incredibly scary. When I heard the word ‘shifting’, I would already get red spots on my neck, because what did that even mean? Why can't you just accelerate to a hundred? Why do we have to complicate things by pressing a clutch? Not for me, thanks.

Anyway, you are not sixteen forever with a scooter as your only means of transport. Unfortunately, my Vespa also came to an end, which suddenly left me with no excuse not to take driving lessons. And a driving lesson as a beginner went — just like with many others, I guess — as follows.

1. Do I need to go faster? Huh? But I'm already driving... Oh, I'm driving 20 kilometers per hour. Step on it.

2. Is the clutch on the left or right? No. Damn. That was the brake. And I definitely learned that the hard way.

3. Women are known for being able to multitask, but I, on the other hand, am the exception to the rule. How can you steer and shift and look in your mirrors and make sure you don't crash (and others don't) at the same time? HOW?

4. It's a bit confronting that I'm only NOW realizing how few traffic rules I actually know. The only thing I know for sure is that the right has priority and that you better stop at a yellow traffic light. As for the rest? God knows.

5. Okay, a roundabout in sight. This time, not like last time, going over it in fourth gear.

6. It's really nice and all that my driving instructor wants to know what I did this weekend, but I have enough on my plate when I have to merge onto the highway.

7. Am I turning on the windshield wipers again instead of signaling right? Am I ever going to learn this?

8. And I thought the highway was the worst part. Try driving in the city at three o'clock in the afternoon without missing at least five cyclists. I haven't managed that yet.

9. Why is it so hard to just drive at a steady pace? Either I'm driving way too slow or I'm immediately going 20 kilometers per hour too fast.

10. Anticipating? What on earth does that mean? Anyone?

11. Is it just me or do you all also find it so hot in this car? My hands are slipping off the steering wheel, seriously.

12. A little music would be nice now. I just don't dare to ask after someone has grabbed my steering wheel for the third time. The silence is deafening, so painful.

13. Oh no, a traffic light. And I'm the first car at the front. Double panic. Just very calmly let the clutch up and then add gas.

14. Surprise, surprise: stalled. Breathe in. Breathe out. Try again. And a little speed, please.

15. If you thought it couldn't get worse, the cars behind me are also honking. Didn't they have driving lessons back in the day? Jeez. Calm your tits.

16. Ooooh, how is this going to work later? I start to panic when I see a mobility scooter driving.

17. To wrap it up, we're going to do some parallel parking. What. A. Party.

18. Turn, turn, turn. And... No. Again not turned in far enough, causing that car to be half on the road for the third time now.

19. Fortunately, my driving instructor can still laugh, because I haven't for a while now.

20. Shall we schedule a double lesson for next week? Uuuh... Yes, sounds like a very good plan.