Why vanilla sex is not as boring as it sounds

Almost always when it comes to sex, it’s about which new things you should try or the craziest fetishes, for example. It seems as if sex has to be increasingly exciting and challenging for everyone, by continuously adding new elements and never letting it become too ‘normal’, out of fear of boredom. But it is precisely in that boredom that the finest moments can be found. The term ‘vanilla sex’ is usually used in a negative context, but vanilla can also be incredibly nice from time to time.

Vanilla sex is, in fact, the most intimate kind of sex. Because you are not distracted by all sorts of complicated positions and actions, you have full attention for each other. This way, you can beautifully merge into each other and pay close attention to what the other finds most pleasurable. Because it is so intimate and you truly merge into each other, there is more attention for the connection and you communicate (with or without words) better what you want from your lover in bed.

It is not only easier to listen to and act on each other’s wishes, it also feels a lot safer because no supernatural forces are needed to meet those expectations. If you introduce 3 new positions every week where you are in the sex swing, upside down with your legs around his neck, or completely tied to your bed waiting for your turn to please your beloved, it can sometimes feel like the pressure to perform is enormous. In vanilla sex, the connection is central, rather than excessive tension. That’s why it might be known as ‘boring sex’ among flings, but for couples, it is the best way to feel your connection with each other.