Why you should always act on your jealousy
If you are struggling with jealousy, it is not only unpleasant for your partner but also for yourself. Are you completely eating yourself up over what that person is doing and with whom, or are you looking for something behind everything? Sometimes it can be difficult to hold back. For example, you might start making passive-aggressive comments or just get really angry. That is not always very handy, and it is especially very uncomfortable. Especially if it is unnecessary.
You should let your partner know that you are jealous; just say it honestly instead of making insinuations and expecting the other person to notice and do something about it. If that person thinks they are not doing anything wrong, they will not see that the problem for you lies in their actions. So: calmly explain that you notice you are getting jealous of certain things, so you can have a mature conversation about it, which can also help your relationship grow. But if you notice that it doesn't help and the jealous feelings keep coming back, it is important that you also learn to resolve these kinds of feelings yourself, without help or confirmation from your partner.
Sometimes it helps to look at your relationship from a different perspective. You can think: if I were to like that photo of that guy, would that mean that I want to sleep with that person? The answer is probably no. In short: you don't mean anything by it either, so why would it be different in reverse?
If your partner gets a lot of attention from others, you can also think: how nice that he will be coming home with me later. Then you feel proud instead of getting angry. Try not to come up with doomsday scenarios. So the whole story you create (he is probably texting someone else, etc.) you really need to turn off. You can only rely on the facts. So if your sweetheart is having a nice chat with someone, it doesn't mean they are going to run off together.
Also accept the jealousy, but don't believe it in your thoughts. You can also think for yourself: how annoying that I am doing this to myself, because these thoughts make no sense. Look for the underlying reason. Does it have to do with something your partner has or hasn't done? Do you feel that they are giving you less attention or are less cheerful? That doesn't necessarily mean that it is about you or your relationship. In this case, it is also useful to open the conversation about it: just indicate that you feel that the other person is a bit absent, for example. There is a good chance that there is a completely different reason than what you are thinking. It may also be that you are influenced by bad experiences in previous relationships. If it has happened to you before, it may make you more suspicious, for example because you are afraid of being fooled again or you think you recognize behavior from then in your current relationship. Of course, it is important to explain this to your partner as well. Then they will also understand better why you are so worried, but that you are apparently also thinking about it and working on resolving it within yourself.
The most important thing is to maintain a bit of the mentality of ‘like it or not’. Not that you should immediately become very distant, but it is good to remember that if the other person cheats, your life is not over immediately. You cannot influence or prevent everything, so it is better to focus on how you take care of yourself and how you feel about yourself. Then you will also see that the love you need will come to you naturally.
