You should never say this to a pregnant woman
From the moment you have a slightly visible pregnant belly, it seems that a kind of ‘unsolicited-advice cannon’ has been activated. I'm not talking about the well-known mother mafia, although they also like to chip in. The cases I'm referring to are often well-intentioned, but so tactless and sometimes really too personal. To spare everyone uncomfortable moments, I would like to share a few things you simply should NOT say to someone who is pregnant. No exceptions.
1. Making comments about the pregnant belly. Whether you think it is big or small and high or low, the pregnant person has no influence over this and it can really feel unpleasant to hear that your belly looks different than what people consider ‘normal’. For all you know, there is a medical reason for it and the pregnant person may be worried about it. Just don't compare; every body is different anyway and pregnant bellies fall under that too.
2. Telling stories about how quickly someone fit back into their old clothes after giving birth or how long it took for it to come off. Despite the fact that being pregnant is very magical, it can sometimes feel quite difficult for a pregnant woman to get used to such a changing body. Having to deal with subtly packaged opinions about your weight is even more annoying.
3. Going into great detail about your own birth or the birth of someone you know. The worst-case scenarios that can occur and then telling how it ultimately turned out is NOT REASSURING.
4. Wishing strength for the upcoming period, which should ideally be special and fun. Texts like: ‘good luck with the birth’, ‘enjoy the peace’, and ‘sleep well while you can’. It's not like you can work ahead with sleep credits, and most pregnant women also have to keep working until they go on leave. You don't have much more rest during your pregnancy than before it.
5. Asking how long it took for that person to get pregnant. You're basically asking how much sex that person has. Some things you really only discuss with very good friends. Also, the question ‘was it planned?’ is so bizarre, but many people apparently find it very normal to ask. What value does it have for you to know if that person had sex very regularly and was consciously thinking about the possible subsequent pregnancy?
In short, if you would like to give advice, the best thing is to offer that the pregnant person can always come to ask for advice. However, the chance is great that young parents will knock on the door of family, good friends, or the midwife first.
Image: @lizzyvdligt
