30 things that really can't happen after your 30s

Okay, let's be clear: your life doesn't just end at 30. You still have the power to continue with endless cocktail nights, adventure, and the occasional spontaneous trip. But it does start to sink in that after a night of wild partying, it takes you longer to recover from your hangover than it used to. Fair is fair: that just can't happen anymore. Yes, there are a few things you simply can't do anymore once you've passed that magical 30. Hold on tight, because we're about to give you a lesson.

1. Quickly smoke a cigarette in bed

Yes, girl. I'm going to say it to your face: we can't all be Carrie Bradshaw. Smoking is super bad for you anyway, but why on earth would you want to do that in your bed? Your freshly changed sheets? That silky soft bed you dive into after a long day at work? You can't smoke in there. Sorry, but that's really a turn-off. It's not the same as eating a cookie in bed: your room will stink, your bed will get dirty (because yes, that ashtray is not going to end well), and it's just unhealthy for you. At least make the effort to walk to your garden, balcony, or kitchen extractor. It's better for you and your environment.

2. Not paying your parking fine

From the age of 18, there are a few ‘adult things’ you really have to face: paying taxes, covering your health insurance, buying your own drinks, and yes: paying your own fines. Mom and dad can't do everything for you. When you're still so young, it's very easy to ‘forget’ these things. They pile up, and then at some point, you end up with a court order. But yes, as an adult, that just can't happen anymore. You have so many bills that you can't afford to pay a large sum all at once after all those reminders, so just pay that fine the first time. It saves you a lot of hassle and money.

3. Spending all your money on one weekend in Ibiza

This doesn't mean you can never go on vacation again. Certainly not, go travel girl, see everything while you still can and while you're young. But you really can't spend your entire monthly salary on a spontaneous trip to Ibiza with the girls anymore. That's a lot of fun, and I'm secretly getting the itch to go, but it's really not smart to spend so much when you have all sorts of bills, subscriptions, and groceries to pay. And I haven't even mentioned all the shampoo, makeup, skincare, and cleaning products you need to buy. In short: you really don't have the money to just go on a euro summer trip. You'd better save for that; say goodbye to that girl math.

4. Sleeping with makeup on

Your skin is no longer 20, darling. You really can't fall asleep with all that foundation on your face. It's going to marinate all night! And then you wonder why you have ‘adult acne’. Hmm, where could that come from? Especially now, after your 30s, you start losing collagen more and more, so it's important to take good care of that skin of yours. You're not 20 anymore, so take that layer of makeup off before you dive into bed. That way, the pillow your face is on won't get dirty with all that sweat and makeup residue.

5. Binge-watching a series until five in the morning when you have to get up early the next day

Everyone has been a victim of a good series, I won't deny that. I've often been a victim of the binge phenomenon too. But if you can take a tip? Just do that until midnight, please. Just like that hangover, you need to recover a lot more from a night of staying up than you did 10 years ago. Unfortunately, time doesn't stand still, so you have to face that too. You really don't want to be dead tired at work, do you? No.

6. Having an empty fridge

I understand that groceries are expensive these days, but you really can't have an empty fridge. Sure, there's something cozy about ordering takeout, but after a week, you've tried every restaurant in the area. At least make sure you have some snacks so you can make a ‘girl dinner’ for yourself: some veggies here, some fruit there, something savory on the side. It's not that hard; otherwise, just order groceries. It can all be done. After all, your life is not a survival game.

7. Always being late

Being fashionably late is only cool if your name is Anna Wintour, but actually, it's just very rude. Being five minutes late sometimes isn't a big deal, but if you're consistently half an hour late, that's really terrible. Soon you'll be that person who gets told the wedding starts an hour earlier so you can be on time. You don't want that, do you? Just set a few alarms before you have to leave.

8. Stalking your ex on Instagram

It's not good for your heart and mind; just leave that jerk alone. He's living his life, and you yours. If your paths cross, you'll notice that, but there's no point in stalking your ex on Instagram day in and day out and analyzing every story and every song. Okay, he used ‘Somewhere Only We Know’ by Keane, but that doesn't mean he misses you. Spend that time on your work or a new hobby. We're not in the series You.

9. Wearing the same pajamas for two weeks

Secretly, we've all been a bit dirty. Eww, take it easy, dirty person: I don't mean that we turn our underwear inside out and wear it again, but just that you sometimes walk around in the same loungewear for a few days. I can understand that, but you really can't wear your pajamas for two weeks straight. At night, you sweat so much and lose a lot of skin flakes. You don't want to lie in that all night, do you? You might as well sell your deodorant because you won't get rid of that sweat smell.

10. Always tolerating negative people

Life is way too short to live in negativity. So what if you're a bit too cheerful, wear too many bright colors, or often see a situation positively: stop tolerating all those negative people. Stand up for yourself; you can do that after 30 years. Their opinion doesn't matter. Get rid of them. Bye.

11. Scrolling on your phone for too long in the morning

We know it's all bad for you, and actually, we all do it: doomscrolling for too long in the morning. It's tempting to linger after you've turned off your alarm, but this is not handy at all. Especially if you have a grown-up job where you need to get up early. You're getting a dopamine boost from your bed; this can lead to more stress and anxiety. You really don't want that, do you? And you don't have time for it. Just get up, listen to a podcast, and start getting ready. Or make a cup of coffee, that's nice too.

12. Not using sunscreen

As I said: you no longer have baby-soft skin. You really need to take care of your biggest business card, so also against the sun. You understand that you need to apply an extra layer in the summer, but that also needs to happen in our little country. It really can't happen anymore that you don't protect your skin. This way, you'll look beautiful and healthy, because by applying sunscreen, you prevent a lot of troubles.

13. Going out and not being able to get home

Everyone knows it: you decide to go out with friends and halfway through you suddenly realize: shit, the last train has already left. It was so much fun that you didn't care, and oh, what does it matter? Then you just sleep at a friend's place. Or book a hotel room somewhere in the city. Yes, you'd better forget that after your 30s. Dancing in a sweaty club is a lot of fun, but it's even better to wake up in your own bed the next day. Agree to share an Uber, book a taxi yourself, or just take that last train. Because how annoying is it to wake up with a hangover in a strange house? Not cool, no. You're not 19 anymore, take it easy.

14. Calling your ex under the influence

Look, it might be a hard truth to face, but: you're not Sabrina Carpenter. You can't call every ex in your phone book drunk because of your go-go juice. That chapter should have been closed long ago, right? There's no point in calling that jerk for a one-night stand or to catch up. Nothing good ever comes from it. After your 30s, you don't want any of this drama anymore, do you? Yes, exactly.

15. Not doing a weekly deep clean of your house

What could be better than doing a deep clean? It might be a lot of work, but it also pays off a lot. Your bed is fresh again, your bathroom is clean, the toilet smells wonderful, there are candles lit around you, and you can flop down on a soft couch. This is the secret to a clean house: during the week, you do something small every day, and then you tackle everything once a week. From cleaning the dishwasher inside to the mirrors in your bathroom. It can't be that after your 30s you don't even know how to clean your house? That big cleaning session ensures that laundry doesn't pile up and you start each week with a clean slate. You need that in your busy adult life.

16. Going into the city without sunglasses

Just like your skin, your eyes need to be protected from the sun. You don't want to go blind, do you? And those squinty eyes will give you wrinkles, so you don't want that either. Just comfortably put on those glasses whenever you want, it saves a lot.

17. Letting super expensive designer things hang in the closet

If you've saved enough to splurge on an expensive bag, then the intention is that you actually wear it. I understand that you want to keep that €2000 bag nice, but if you're not using it, it might as well go back. A bag is meant to be worn. So just do that.

18. Buying the cheapest wine and thinking no one will taste it

I get the idea of drinking on a budget, but if you're inviting your friends over, you really should spend money on good wine. How often has it happened that you've tried to save on that drink? Too often. You think everyone is fine with it, but secretly it's not drinkable. You now have an adult salary, so spend accordingly. You don't have to buy a €100 bottle right away, but that €5 white wine from Albert Heijn is really passé. It can be bougie, especially now.

19. Keep saying ‘I'm really going to quit smoking now’

We have known for decades that smoking is bad for you. But are you constantly postponing quitting? That cigarette is part of your look, a habit, or just a social mechanism, because how nice is it to take a break outside with your besties? That's a lot of fun, but inside, your body is not doing well at all. You can keep saying: ’I'll finish my pack and then I'll really quit,‘ but if you don't do it, it won't happen. Show some perseverance; you can do that after 30 years on this planet.

20. Only buying your clothes on sale

A sale triggers something in all of us. Especially when it comes to more expensive items that you normally wouldn't have the guts to buy. There's nothing wrong with shopping in the sale once in a while, but if you're constantly looking from sale to sale just to buy new clothes, then something is wrong. There is such a thing as having enough clothes. By all those sales, you're going to buy things you actually don't need. Do you really want them, or are they just on sale? Ask yourself that.

21. Still living in your student apartment

The housing crisis is not normal, so I totally understand that you don't have a place right away. But after your 30s, you really don't want to live in your student apartment anymore? Especially not if you're sharing it with others. No. You just want to take someone home and pull all the cabinets and chairs off the wall if you want to. Now you're just worrying about who owns what and about the cleaning schedule. You don't want that anymore, do you? Grow up and find something else.

22. Not changing your bedding every week

Yes... Unfortunately, I have sometimes been guilty of this. Sometimes you just don't have the energy to change the whole bed. First, you have to take everything off – which is already a hassle – put it in the washing machine, let it dry, and then at the end of the day, when it's finally dry, make it all up again (which is already a workout in itself). So yes, I understand that you sometimes postpone this for a few days. But what do you say? Two weeks? That's really ridiculous. You need to do this at least once a week. Do this at the same time as your deep clean: that way, you tackle everything.

23. Always planning the cheapest vacation

A budget vacation can be quite fun: sleeping in a small Airbnb with a friend and living on baguettes with salami from the local supermarket because every activity you booked was actually your entire budget. But aren't we all grown up enough now to book a vacation that you deserve? A nice hotel, close to the center, where you have a bathroom that is clean, with a working shower door instead of one of those dirty curtains. Save up for a few more months and only then book your trip: this is going to be so much more comfortable.

24. Only talking about your ex

We're not in high school anymore; there is really so much more in life to talk about than your ex. Read a book, listen to a podcast, watch a new series, go to a lecture – there is so much to discuss. After the tenth time, your friends are tired of these stories. Isn't that all in the past? About ten years ago? Yep. Quickly choose another topic, then.

25. Taking your phone to the toilet

Do we all do this? Uh… I think more people than they would want to admit, but this is really ridiculous. You're not a teenage addict anymore, right? Or do you still need that little dopamine hit on the toilet? You can also take a magazine or a newspaper; go a bit old school. And scrolling on the loo is really bad for you: with your phone, you stay sitting longer, which can lead to hemorrhoids or other issues. You want to take care of yourself, right? Then you need to stop this.

26. Saving outfits ‘for that one moment’

If there is something childish, it's saving your nice clothes for a ‘special moment’. When that Valentino dress you bought years ago on sale is still hanging in the closet because you ‘haven't been a bridesmaid yet’, then something is really wrong. Stop living for others and just wear that dress. To a birthday, to your favorite restaurant, to the office with a cool blazer on. Aren't you too old to think about what people think of you?

27. Not washing your hair because you think ‘it can go a day without’

That slick back bun is very handy when your hair is too greasy, but there are also limits. If your hair stands up in a ponytail, then it's really time to step under that shower. It has to happen sometime. You can't, like in school, hide all day in a hoodie, so just go wash your hair.

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28. Afraid to say what you think

Go grow up. Why are you still too afraid to say what you think? You really can share your opinion in a team meeting, or you can really voice that one complaint that has been in your head for months during your annual evaluation. There's no point in bottling everything up and avoiding it; we're not 16 anymore, right? Nowadays, as a 30-something, you just say what you think. Simple and powerful. Just join in.

29. Putting your career aside for someone else

You're not Rachel Green or Belly Conklin, so please don't give up your dream job in Paris for a man. There is such a thing as a long-distance relationship or just a partner who supports you, so you really shouldn't set aside your ambitions because you're afraid you won't find love otherwise. That person would encourage you, so don't put your career aside, but that person.

30. Thinking you can handle everything just like in your 20s

Unfortunately, it really is true that your body and brain decline more and more once you pass 30: you gradually lose more muscle mass, have a slower metabolism which makes you gain weight faster, your skin becomes less supple, your hormones get confused. A lot happens, and that means you really can't live the same way as when you were 20. When you pulled an all-nighter for a test, survived the next day on one coffee and a bag of chips — that's now a suicide attempt. Realize that it's not that easy anymore and that you really notice that a lot becomes more difficult. So you have to do more for it. Do I see you in the gym yet?

So yes; turning thirty is not the end of the world. But some things? You can lovingly leave those behind in your twenties.