Forget situationships: expirationships are the new romantic gray area

The ‘we're having a good time, aren't we?’ cases are familiar to us by now; although they often remain vague. situationships Since all those different terms weren't complicated enough, the dating world has invented another one: meet expirationships. Simply put, dating with an expiration date; and that has its pros and cons.

What does expirationship mean exactly?

In an expirationship, your relationship has a clear end date, it is a temporary thing. You can think of a holiday romance, or a relationship with someone you know will be moving far away soon. Because you know you only have a limited time together and the moment of the ‘break-up’ is already set, you don't have to worry about future plans. The only thing you need to focus on is having a good time together. Enjoying without further obligations.

This is why people enter into an expirationship

Now I understand that you might think: why would you enter into a relationship for such a short time? Isn't a situationship, or having no label at all, much more convenient? Those aren't crazy thoughts, of course, but it's not strange that people choose an expirationship. Especially millennials and Gen Z are open to such a temporary partner. They find enjoyment and freedom important, and this trend fits perfectly with that. The choice to make it a relation relationship comes from the desire for connection. Yes, we want to be independent in many ways, but truly committing to someone, even if it's temporary, also gives a good feeling. With an expirationship, you get exactly that, but without all the hassle and pressure. You can plan it around your busy life full of work, travel, and other hobbies.

The advantages of an expirationship

According to behavioral scientist Logan Ury, people see one major advantage to expirationships: it fits perfectly with the mentality of wanting to live in the moment and not having to think too far ahead. You get attention, intimacy, and fun, without having to think about heavy topics like cohabitation or children. According to Ury, we are much less focused on finding that one true love nowadays, but rather on finding someone who fits the phase of life we are currently in. You maintain the freedom to walk your own path and change plans suddenly, without being immediately tied to a certain future vision and having to discuss major choices. Another advantage: there is less pressure to take your (temporary) lover to various social obligations. By the time you've visited all the aunts and uncles for an introduction, your end date has already been reached. You certainly don't want to spend that precious time on that; the family Christmas dinner probably falls outside your time limit.

Tips to keep your expirationship healthy

An expirationship sounds fun and light-hearted, but there is also a danger. We are not robots, and your feelings can still get in the way. The fact that there is a clear end date can make you feel the urge to make the most of your time together. Every minute must be utilized, and you experience everything much more intensely than usual. Because of those stronger feelings, the break-up can feel heavier, even if you saw it coming. According to psychologist Madeleine Mason Roantree, it is very important to keep communicating in an expirationship; even when it gets difficult, and even if you have an expiration date. To handle that well, she has a few tips:

1. Be clear from the start
To avoid awkward situations, it's good to make clear agreements from the beginning. Of course about your end date, but that's not the only thing. What are your expectations of each other, how often do you want to see each other, and what is allowed and what is not? With the label of a (temporary) relationship, you might assume that you are exclusive, but maybe you both don't think that way. Then it's better to just say it out loud.

2. Do a self-check-up
Although you may start with a clear idea of how you view the relationship and eventual break-up, that can change over time. Perhaps stronger feelings arise of sadness and hopelessness dominate; with anxiety, you mainly experience extreme worry and panic. In a functional freeze, you're in a situation where you actually don't feel; it seems as if you're detached from yourself. and you would want to be together longer. The only way to find out is to occasionally take a moment to reflect on your feelings at that moment. Do you notice something changing? Then discuss it with your partner, as that will prevent awkward situations later on.

3. Keep it light, but always with respect
An expirationship should primarily be light-hearted; but just because there is so much freedom doesn't mean you can do whatever you want. You still have a partner to consider; one of the reasons why good agreements are so important. Just because your end date is approaching doesn't mean you can start sniffing around freely.

4. Prepare for the break-up
Knowing well in advance when your relationship will end also means you can prepare for it. This is mainly about mental preparation. By already mentally preparing for the break-up, it will hit less hard. So remind yourself occasionally of your date, so it doesn't suddenly feel like that fateful day.

An expirationship has its advantages, but it is not ideal for everyone. Those who quickly attach to another will likely struggle with this form of dating. So think carefully about how you feel about love, and whether you want to give this trend a chance.

Source: Flair | Image: Emily in Paris