Love & Sex

Queer meaning: everything you want to know

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dareIn 2025, we are happily further along in accepting each other as we are. Of course, not everything is perfect yet; there is still a lot of hate and discrimination on this planet, but significant steps have certainly been taken; we celebrate Pride month annually and everywhere you look, more and more people dare to be themselves. You can feel it, as there is a large queer community, but what does ‘queer’ actually mean? We don't want to try to shove anything into boxes, so we will explain it clearly for you. This is everything you want to know about the queer meaning.

What does queer actually mean?

Whether people are still in the closet or proudly walking with Pride: queer people have always existed, we just see them more now than before. We are starting to gain more respect for this group and how to deal with them, such as the terminology. The word ‘queer’ is used by many people to indicate that they are part of the LGBTQIA+ community. This umbrella term is handy for almost all sexualities and identities: even if you don't really know where you fit in or don't want to label yourself, you can use it flexibly. But even if you know exactly how you feel, you can call yourself queer. It is a celebration of life. Of daring to be yourself. It is so much more than one word.

Where does the name queer come from?

Before this term was proudly claimed, it had a completely different meaning. A dark one. According to medieval scholar William Sayes it originally comes from Ireland, where it was called ‘cuaire’ between 900 and 1200. This means something that is crooked, bent, or hollow. It was used for objects, but also for people. Someone who had a visible characteristic of ‘some crookedness or bending’. Something peculiar, then. And well, words evolve over time – so did this term. Two hundred years later, a significant change in language occurred: the vowel shift. After that revolution, the word cuaire was suddenly pronounced as kwer, which later changed to queer (pronounced as kwier). At this time, it also took on a different meaning: it referred to something strange. Something odd. It did not yet have the link to the rainbow community, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was occasionally used back then.

Unfortunately, this changed after a long time. In 1894, ‘queer’ was first used on paper as a slur. This is where it all began. John Sholto Douglas wrote in a letter to his youngest son that the death of his eldest son Francis was due to ‘snob queers like Rosebery’. Francis was said to have shared a bed with Archibald Primrose, the Earl of Rosebery and Prime Minister of England at that time. John was convinced that this was the reason his son had become ill, and thus responsible for his death. Ultimately, it turned out that his youngest son, Alfred, had an affair with a man: the famous writer Oscar Wilde. John did everything to ruin him, and he succeeded: he went to prison. He died there. After this incident, more and more people began to use the word with hate and disgust. It was mainly about men who behaved femininely and had sex with men. This is where the link with sexuality emerged.

Ultimately, the community fought for years to reclaim the word. Only after the Gay Liberation and the fight against AIDS was the word reclaimed again, particularly by the organization Queer Nation. They distributed flyers during Pride in 1990 with the title: ‘Queers Read this!’. This gave a different meaning to the word. “Being queer is not the right to privacy; it is the right to come out in public, just as you are.” From this moment on, it gradually took on the meaning we still know today.

Which orientations fall under that umbrella?

Actually, that's quite simple. Being anything but heterosexual. That may sound a bit too simplistic, but it is true. It is not just about gays or lesbians: being queer is about all people who feel part of the community. So it includes lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgender people, queers or questioning individuals, intersex, asexual and aromantic persons, and the + stands for non-binary and other forms such as pansexuals. Although gender and sexuality are two different things, they all fall under that umbrella.

And what do all those sexualities and genders in the community mean again?

Want a quick refresher? Then we will do that for you. Saves some research.

  • Lesbian: women who are attracted to women
  • Gay: men who are attracted to men
  • Bisexual: people who are attracted to both genders
  • Transgender: a person who has transitioned to the other gender
  • Queer or questioning: someone who is not sure yet or does not want to label themselves
  • Intersex: a person born with both male and female physical sex characteristics
  • Asexuality: you feel a romantic connection, but no sexual connection
  • Aromantic: you never feel a romantic connection, but do feel a sexual connection
  • Pansexual: you are sexually and romantically attracted to people and their personality, depending on which gender or gender they identify with.
  • Non-binary: you do not identify as a man or woman, but more in between. You feel a bit of both, but not entirely one gender. Or you feel agender: you do not feel like a man or woman, but just ‘your person’.

Of course, these are also in a sense ‘boxes’, which you certainly do not have to fit into. Just be yourself, and if you don't want a label? Then just say queer. There is nothing wrong with that.