This Sex and the City theory explains why you’re still single

Never let anyone tell you that you can't learn anything from a series. Of course, you pick up something from a documentary series, but surprisingly, you can learn a lot from a ‘simple’ romcom as well. Take our all-time favorite ‘Sex and the City’. And especially Miranda Hobbes, who explains with her ‘taxi cab theory’ why timing in love is so important; and perhaps the reason why you are still single.

Miranda's ultimate love lesson

All die-hard SATC fans probably know immediately which scene I'm talking about. But if you haven't had yet another binge session, let me take you to the moment: season 3, episode 8. Charlotte (Kristin Davis) is completely in love with Trey (Kyle MacLachlan) and convinced that it was just meant to be. “Sometimes you just know, it’s like magic, it’s fate.” Miranda (Cynthia Nixon), always down to earth, immediately bursts that pink love bubble: “It’s not fate, his light is on – that’s all.” And with those lights, she refers to the ‘taxi cab theory’. According to Miranda, men are like taxis. One day they decide they are ready to settle down and turn their lights on. The next woman they meet is the one they will go for. It’s largely a matter of luck and timing.

@beatriz190199 Miranda was speaking nothing but the truth #fyp #viral #carriebradshaw #sarahjessicaparker #taylorswift #erastour ♬ original sound – beatriz190199

What exactly does the ‘taxi cab theory’ entail?

Okay, attributing the ‘taxi cab theory’ solely to men and saying that timing is the only thing that matters for them is, of course, a bit simplistic. But according to research published in Social Psychological and Personality Science, there is a kernel of truth in it. Let me explain. According to the researchers, the light doesn’t necessarily turn on when you find the perfect match on paper, but when you, or the other person, crosses a psychological threshold. It’s about the moment when the idea of continuing to date and search is no longer exciting, but becomes exhausting. Cherishing what you have becomes much more important. That ‘threshold’ is the moment when the attraction to alternatives no longer affects you. The light turns on when someone is truly ready for a commitment. If you meet someone who seems perfect, but one of you is not ready yet? Then it won't work; both lights need to be on.

So how do you know if the light is really on?

To determine if your own light is on, it’s important to consider whether you have crossed that ‘threshold’ yet. Do you feel that you are done with the love hunt and actually long for stability? Then you can assume that you have taken that step. Don’t think that making this choice means you are giving up or that you always have to strive for something ‘better’. A 100% match may not exist, and that’s perfectly okay. As long as there are enough commonalities, interest, and chemistry; and both of you are truly ready to settle down. How do you notice that in your partner? According to the theory and the researchers, the light switch flips all at once, and you can especially see this in someone’s behavior. The other person won’t literally say ‘I’m ready’, but for example, suddenly talks much more about the future or actively shows that they are there for you and that you are the priority. Of course, you can always talk about it together, but seeing the commitment often says enough.

Timing is key, but not everything

Should we attribute the entire success rate of our relation now to timing? No, of course not. The right timing plays a role and can be very decisive, but it’s not everything. The ‘taxi cab theory’ can reassure you: it may not be about your traits or personality, but simply the fact that the moment wasn’t right yet. However, there are also other factors that determine whether a relationship works or not. You can both be ready to settle down, but if there are zero commonalities or shared interests, it still won’t click. And yes, there also needs to be attraction and chemistry. So, see the ‘taxi cab theory’ mainly as a bonus, something that helps you realize what all plays a role in a relationship; and something that makes you think about whether you are truly ready for that commitment. So, thanks Miranda Hobbes and ‘Sex and the City’; this is how we learn something.

Source: PureWow