What you need to know before dating an Italian
Oh, come on. We've all dreamed on an Italian beach about that charming Italian you bumped into at the supermercato. Italians are just passionate, and that has its appeal. My grandmother experienced it too in her younger years: she brought her Italian to the Netherlands and that was the beginning of our mixed family tree. My Italian grandfather was the sweetest grandpa you could wish for, but he was quite strict with the new men in the family. There are just a few big differences between Dutch and Italian families. So this is what you need to know before you start dating an Italian.
Disagreements will often lead to heated discussions
Of course, I don't want to generalize all Italians, but it's hard to deny that they tend to have a bit more temperament in the south compared to the down-to-earth Dutch. So you'll have to be a bit cautious when discussions arise, because before you know it, it has suddenly escalated into a real problem. But that temperament is just another form of that passion I mentioned earlier, so it also has its fun sides.
You get the whole family involved
Maybe you think: that's always the case. But in Italian families, it's generally a bit more intense. An example of how it goes with us: we are constantly in contact with each other. The family app called ‘La Famiglia’ is active all day long. Everyone keeps each other updated on every step taken. And it can happen that you casually go to your in-laws for dinner and suddenly multiple sisters with their families spontaneously join in. We prefer to do everything together, including vacations, and yes: in the summer, we definitely go to Italy. A new man in the family meant that my grandfather subtly warned at an unguarded moment: if you hurt my granddaughter, then you have a big problem. By the way, they don't give compliments in Italy. Instead, you get congratulated. ‘Congratulations on your long legs’, ‘congratulations on being so beautiful’, these are things you'll hear during a family visit in Italy while they hold your face and yes, pinch your cheeks. Because some stereotypes are true; and Italians really do that.
Before you know it, your scale suddenly shows 10 kilos more than you're used to
Prepare for family dinners. Just as Dutch people are used to celebrating Christmas, it's very normal for Italians to put a similar amount of food on the table daily. They always cook way too much, and even though you'll feel like you're about to burst after 2 plates of pasta: your mother-in-law will still worry about whether you've eaten enough. On the other hand, at a family party in Italy, you'll have to fight for your food. My grandfather's real pizza oven would be roaring in the kitchen for hours and pizzas were continuously being served at the table. And yet, the Italian cousins, uncles, and aunts swoop in on the food as if they haven't eaten in months.
Family comes first, but they are not Mike & Monique from ‘Winter vol Liefde’
You get the whole family involved, which is absolutely incredibly fun. There is a small catch, though: the men are mama's boys. They are definitely not Mike & Monique practices (generally speaking), but it's nice to know if you're wondering whether your beloved has someone else. No, that's his mother. That is only a good thing if you look at it from another angle: mama's boys have had a lot of respect for women from a young age, and will therefore pamper you completely. Pregnant women are extremely well taken care of. You only have to say that you feel like lemon ice cream and someone is already on their way to get a fresh liter tub from the gelateria around the corner.
