The 777 rule: the relationship tip couples swear by
Relationships take work, you probably know that. And as it goes when they last longer, the real ‘doing your best’ sometimes fades into the background. Luckily, there's TikTok, with a simple solution: the 777 rule. More and more couples swear by it as the way to put quality time back on top. A simple boost for your relationship, although this trend also has its pitfalls.
What exactly is the 777 rule?
In the hectic pace of everyday life, all sorts of things demand your attention. Your work, your social life, the gym and, oh yes, also your partner. In a long relationship, that sometimes automatically drops to the bottom of the list, because things are fine between you anyway. Maybe it is, but you'd rather get ahead of that relationship rut. And that's where the 777 rule comes in. Every seven days you plan a moment together, every seven weeks you go away for a night, and every seven months a longer trip is planned.
Such a date does not have to be complicated at all. Together cooking or an evening without the children is enough. Trips don't have to be grand either; discovering a new place in the Netherlands can be just as valuable as a faraway trip. Above all, it's about really focusing on each other for a while. Without distractions from family, friends or ringing phones. Time for good conversations, getting closer together again and discovering new things together.
Now you may be thinking: doesn't this look like the 222 rule? And there you have a point. That rule too encourages couples to schedule quality time more often, but the 777 rule goes a step further. Whereas the 222 rule works with two weeks, months and years, here the pace is faster and quality time is scheduled more consciously.
Why couples swear by the 777 rule
According to dating coach Julie Nguyen, taking things for granted in a long-term relationship can cause couples to grow apart. This TikTok trend can help prevent that. “The 777 rule reminds us to protect our time together so that the connection does not disappear due to work, routine, parenthood or everyday life,” she says. Making space for intimacy gives couples a chance to experience something new together," says Nguyen.
No complicated discussions about how often you should schedule time together to keep the relationship strong, but a clear structure and equal expectations. That will save some arguments after all.
Even for couples who feel like everything is going well, this tip can provide a boost. Relationship and family therapist Tracy Ross points out that it is a myth that relationships stay good by themselves. Paying too little attention to them can subconsciously lead to deterioration. And precisely after a period of hectic activity and not being together much, it is important to recover for a while and become curious about each other again. Even after years, your partner's needs and desires can change, and you only discover this by actively engaging with each other. No cruise control, but two hands on the wheel again.
The dark side of the 777 rule
Just a little disclaimer: there is no scientific evidence that the 777 rule is the golden solution for a strong relationship. It is mostly a popular TikTok trend, which many relationship experts certainly see benefits in. But there is also criticism. Where some are happy with the structure, others find it too oppressive. Sometimes life just runs differently, you can't manage to schedule those dates at set times, or things get tough financially. According to dating coach Logan Ury, such a rule can then cause unnecessary stress and guilt.
Another risk is that the line used more as a checklist: a moment together that can be ticked off again. But if you were not really involved and mentally present, there is little point. Also, the spontaneity and specialness of a date can disappear like that. Sticking to the rule too much can still pull you back into that autopilot.
And remember: difficult conversations are still necessary, and discussions cannot be solved by simply scheduling a date. That thundercloud doesn't suddenly disappear as soon as you walk out of the restaurant. That still takes a bit more work.
Here's how to make the most of the 777 rule
Want to test the 777 rule? Then remember one thing: don't see it as a strict obligation, but as a guideline and conversation starter. It is a motivation to talk to your partner about your quality time. Is there enough? Can it be more? And if so, what works for both of you?
So above all, don't set the bar too high. For instance, start with the 222 line and build it up slowly, also totally fine. And a ‘date’ doesn't always have to be big. A screen-free game night or a walk in the woods can be just as valuable. Whatever suits your schedule and budget at the time.
It is not about the number of moments, but their quality. Being consciously together and making time for each other without distractions is what it's all about. Maybe this ‘rule’ will help you with that. And that's worth a try, right?
Image: hannaschonberg Source: Huffpost
