Why men find it sexy when you are angry

I don't really understand men. I've been single for a while and have lost sight of them a bit, so a few days ago I was doing some ‘research’. In other words: scrolling TikTok . After dozens of videos about makeup, work bags, and everything about The Odyssey , I quickly ended up on relationship TikTok. There I came across a video that immediately caught my full attention: a woman explained why men like ‘bitches’. This got me thinking: do men really prefer angry women? The answer is simple: yes. Not because they are mean, but because a woman who stands up for herself is super sexy. Why that is and how you can do this too (without becoming a mean girl), you can read here.

It's not just about the anger itself

Before you start drawing all sorts of conclusions, let's set something straight first: research does not show that men find an angry facial expression more attractive. A frown or an angry look won't suddenly attract men from all corners of the world. What it seems to revolve around is everything that comes with an argument. That guy doesn't love that you're shouting or slamming doors. He gets excited by the fact that you dare to be yourself and express yourself confidently. The idea that you don't swallow anything but defend yourself suddenly makes him feel like you're some kind of goddess from ancient Greece.

As women, we grow up with the idea that we should be nice. Not to make things difficult and not to seek conflict. Be quiet in class, always behave nicely, make sure you're kind and think of others. Those are good lessons, but being nice is something different than erasing yourself. If you always respond with ‘That's fine’ while you'd rather rip someone's head off their shoulders, then your personality disappears. Men actually find it fantastic to see that you have your own opinion. It may not seem like it at the moment you're arguing, but secretly he feels more attracted to you. That might explain the make-up sex.

Why a little spice can be attractive

So it's not that all men fall at your feet if you start acting like a bitch à la Regina George. Men don't fall in love with the one who screams the loudest, but with women who stand strong in their shoes. You know, those ladies who know what they want, don't just let themselves be persuaded, and dare to say it like it is.

In the well-known book ‘Why Men Love Bitches’ a ‘bitch’ is not described as a mean woman, but as someone who respects herself, has her own life, and doesn't do everything to keep a man happy. At first glance, I would think that a man would go for someone who is a bit weaker, but his ego wants the best of the best. Men want someone who will challenge them as an equal, not a girlfriend who says ‘yes and amen’ to everything.

Confidence makes you more attractive

When you dare to say what you think and feel, a lot more clarity arises. And if there's one thing men love, it's clarity. They don't want to play a guessing game where they have to wonder every month whether you're angry or just a bit irritated because they didn't take the trash out. A woman who is honest about what she feels and clearly indicates this is already a plus for them. Besides, it's just a fact that men find confidence super attractive. The moment you scream so hard that all your wine glasses shatter, they see it as confirmation that you are equals. You can challenge and inspire him.

So yes: men find it sexy when you get angry. And there's definitely a lesson hidden in that. I've learned that I don't make an impression by always erasing myself, but by simply stating the hard truth. And maybe that's better for you than always trying to be the perfect version of yourself.