This is what sex is like when you've been together for a long time

Whether I wanted to write about sex. More specifically: about sex when you've been together for a long time. How it all is and whether it still happens. That was the question from our editor Adeline. I managed to dodge the topic a few times. In a cunning way. But now, now I could no longer avoid it. Or back out. So here they are. The hard facts about cohabitation sex. All from empirical research and the better fieldwork.

1.  The quantity does not necessarily decrease. The duration does.

2.  You know each other, you know what works. Orgasm is therefore guaranteed.

3. Foreplay and afterplay are not required. Romantic music, rose petals, and all other time-consuming tricks to enhance lovemaking can simply be left out.

4. You keep kissing. Some people wonder about that. Are you still kissing? Uh, yes.

5. It's not a big deal if you smoothly ask three seconds after the act who is actually cooking tonight.

6. You will be forgiven if you fall asleep one evening after a bit too much wine during romance.

7. You develop favorite positions and sequences, but your cohabitation sex life (good for Scrabble) gets a tremendous boost when you do it in a different spot/different position/different time.

8. He/she knows by now that he should just not start on certain topics. Some dishes on the menu are just not really your favorites.

9. You can kiss in the morning without having to brush your teeth first. When you've been together this long, you smell the same and he/she (or you) must have really made a mess the night before for you to experience it as a stench. Otherwise, you just give him a nudge towards the bathroom. Do it nicely there.

10. In the case of children, the number of locations in your repertoire increases enormously. They give you no second of peace, so every moment you have, you seize. Kitchens, attics, bathrooms, the hallway; nothing is safe for you.