I still remember it well. A big wooden cart with little golden wheels. And when you’d drive it over the cobblestones (the restaurant had a floor littered with cobblestones), it made an awful lot of noise. The cart had cheese. Lots of cheese. Goat, sheep, cow, hard, soft, and even softer out of a container. I had to study the names and tastes at home for days. I’d already avoided doing so for weeks. When a guest ordered cheese as dessert, I’d always think of an excuse for a colleague to serve it. Like: ‘I still have to set that other table,’ ‘I believe I’ve really got to go to the lavatories,’ or ‘a couple of guests are waving really hard so I’ll go help them.’ I’ve even dreamt about it. The sound of that rolling cart. I woke up sweating.

Look, eating cheese I know how to do. But explaining all the things that lie on such a cart, the tastes, their origins: a nightmare. Thinking back about it, I can actually feel the uneasiness creeping up again. Which I always felt when I had to walk to a table with that cart. I think I literally tried it once and told the guest that a little, soft époisses tasted like steel. Like STEEL. How this popped up in my mind, no clue.

These days, when I order a cheese platter myself and I see an intern or very young person walking towards me, I’ll already feel incredibly uncomfortable. I try not to look at that person and just nod and smile at the cheese. Really, it helps. I used to hate it when guests looked me in the eyes thoughtfully whilst I was trying to explain something.

This was my fear-for-cheese story. I still like it a lot, though. I know, cheese isn’t particularly thinning. Well, no food really is, but this definitely isn’t thinning. Still, give me a Saturday night with a platter with vacherin Mont d’Or, brie truffé, pecorino, and blue d’Auvergne and a glass of wine, and I’m the happiest person on earth. Fuck being thin.

Eat cheese here:

Wilde Zwijnen
One of my favourite restaurants in town. They only serve Dutch cheeses.

Bar Boca’s
Perfect for Friday afternoon drinks.

De Kaaskamer
You don’ have to go out to dinner for a good cheese platter. Go to this store on a Saturday afternoon. Let them explain everything to you and taste it all. You’ll definitely leave the store with bags filled with cheese. Great for on the sofa. With a glass of wine.