When I ask my single friends how they manage to gather date materials, I think about 80% would answer with “Tinder.” Honestly, everyone has Tinder. Our HQ Tinders a whole lot and seen that many great stories begin on Tinder, it’s time for the Explorer to dive into the phenomenon. Because, how to go about it, how not to, and how in heaven’s name to get rid of it.

 The dos 

• Start a conversation yourself. Don’t wait until he does, come on, you can do it. Though think about what you’re going to say. Boring questions won’t work, but horribly bad texts like ‘hey, I pressed your heart” won’t lead to success stories (it’s actually been said by one of the editors here, I won’t say who).
• Conduct a thorough analysis on Facebook. Who is he? What does he do? Why does he do that? Where does he live? You should try to find out everything.
• Not looking for the love of your life, but for the love of your night? Get to the point immediately, stop fussing. “What are you doing at 20:00 tonight? Wine at my place?” Don’t beat around the bush, that helps no one.

The don’ts

• Men, listen carefully: TAKING SELFIES IS NOT OKAY. It’s already highly debatable for women but men really shouldn’t take selfies. And especially not in the mirror. Stop it.
• Women, life can sometimes be a bitch, but don’t share your life story with a match. That’s great for no one.
• Make sure your profile picture is a picture of you, and not you and your 34 best friendsies (never say ‘friendsies’). Not good-looking enough to be on the picture by yourself? Are you one of those girls that’s always flanked by an army of girlfriends? These questions will be asked by The Guy, which is exactly what you don’t want. Take a photo by yourself. Filters have been invented for a reason.
• Idiotic texts in your Tagline. I once saw someone who wrote “the royal warrant holder of the national shine.” Sigh. Or someone who was a”passionated semi professional windsurfer beach house transporter.” What?! And what about those profound texts like “you can’t bike on a simple road.” People, I’m not making this up.

And then this 

Seen the fact that I’m incredibly off the market, I haven’t really developed a Tinder life. But befitting a good journalist, I of course had to do my research. I’d already registered a couple of months ago (hello, everyone did it and I at least wanted to know what the fuss was all about), so I already had the app. I opened it for the first time in months and the things I saw didn’t make me unsure about the person welcoming me at home upon arrival at night.

“After the hi-how-are-you-misery, the question arose what my hobbies are (seriously) and when I asked him what his plans were for the day, he answered with: “chattin with you”

Helped slightly hysterically by Jet and Josselin, I shared some likes and suddenly had a mach with Pascal. I mostly liked him because of his bio: “I’m Pascal. I’m 30. I work in the meat sector… Want to know more, just ask.” Again, I’m not making this us. Pascal’s from Hoorn, and wears a pink shirt with Burberry checkers on the collar in one of his photos. Match made in heaven! After the hi-how-are-you-misery, the question arose what my hobbies are (seriously) and when I asked him what his plans were for the day, he answered with: “chattin with you”. ChatiNNNNNNN. Bleeding eyes. 

His hobbies are “going out. Hanging out with friends. Going out to dinner. Watch a movie… Music. Dutch. Turkish. Spanish music… You name it…” When I ask him what his work’s all about, I get “sterilising meats on 114’c and the pasteurisation process.” I told him I’m an “assistant of the administrative worker at a midsize business” which he thinks is “very interesting! Neat.” You must understand, this won’t be a match and I close Tinder still shaken up. It was great while it lasted, I hope you’ll be more successful. Ladies (and gentleman), go get them!