Totally unawares, I clicked around and read some news on the Huffingtonpost.com when I suddenly bumped into this article that discussed 23 trends that men supposedly hate. Trend numero uno is the peplum. Fine, I thought, I don’t own one. Number two: the beanie, you know, those silly, useless, knitted hats that hang on the backs of people’s heads. I can only agree vehemently because I hate beanies. Wedge sneakers, floppy hats, open-sided shirts, bright lipstick, heavy eye make-up; they were listed in that order and my self-esteem rose and rose because I hate all those trends just like men do apparently.

But then EVERYTHING went awry…

But then everything went awry. The strapless bikini, for example: “they just make your shoulders look like a linebacker’s.” Hmm, I’ve got about 30 strapless bikinis in my closet. But it got worse. Pointed nosed shoes (but why?!), high waisted clothing, bangles, oversized sweaters — well, obviously, it’s a massacre. Better yet, whilst writing this I’m wearing pointed nosed, high heels, a high waisted mini short, an oversized sweater (from the men’s department, mind you) and a row of bangles adorns my wrist, as usual. Shit. I’m not so sexy then. And I thought I normally was, sort of. You won’t ever catch me wearing UGGS, perhaps only inside the house sitting on my couch, but never outside! Never! Harem pants, I only wore those when I was travelling and was totally senang with my inner hippie. I almost always walk around on high heels (which is sexy, right?) , and heavy make-up? Girl, I don’t even know how to put on eyeliner.
So I’m confused on this not so sexy Friday. Maybe I should turn to women and go for a career as a lesbian because this is heading in the wrong direction. Pretty sister, anyone?