The worst email signatures ever
A while ago we talked about the rules to emailing, but in hindsight I realise that I omitted a very important point. That is: what to put in your signature and what not. Also important because it’s attached to every mail you send. As a fanatical emailer, I sometimes come across signatures and closing lines that make my hair spontaneously stand on end, and because my suffering is your suffering, here they are.
The signature with university title
Look, I get that you’re very proud of your academic achievements, but if you’re not actually working in the academic world it is just plain nonsense to mention it in every mail. Those who have earned a Bachelor and a Master’s degree may happily call themselves Dr, but take it from me, you’re being made fun of.
The totally crazy, stupendous, creative spluttering
When May-Britt was still little May, she was very much in love with horses. Posters above the bed, Penny on the mat, and she signed every letter with “with friendly pony-greetings.” Very cute as a child, but you’ll be surprised at how many adults and the like make up greetings. People who do ‘something’ in the sports world use “with sporty greetings” and people who do ‘something’ in the fashion world sign off “with stylish greetings”. People, please just stop. This is absurd. Seriously think about it, what is a greeting actually and as if that’s not vague enough, what on earth is a sporty greeting? One that can run really fast? A volley-balling greeting? Just stop.
Extreme personality greetings
Sunny greetings, cosmopolitan greetings, fun and fabulous greetings, we’ve seen them all come by and I want to make it extremely clear for once and for all: GREETINGS DO NOT HAVE PERSONALITIES.
The standard signature
You send me an email but don’t even bother to type in a personal closing? I don’t want your Kind Regards! I have my name and contact details under my mail, but I always end with a separate closing.
The iPhone-signature
You send an email from your phone, do you leave the “sent from my iPhone” text underneath or not? I sometimes do, so the person I’m emailing knows that I’m not behind my computer and so they know why I’m being a little abrupt. On the other hand it’s also a little stupid. We’re divided here at the office. Half say don’t do it because “it looks ugly” and the interns don’t think it looks very professional, for example when sending a CV. I agree. A girlfriend once had her signature changed to “Autocorrected by my iPhone” and I must say I think that’s hilarious. For private mail. So. The choice is yours.
