6 kids questions you don’t have the answers to

(or would rather not answer)

It’s very cute, adorable even, when children start talking. The only downside is that they also start to ask questions. These kind of questions, argh, where is the emergency exit?

While you are trying to watch Sex and the City….

Mommy, why do those ladies talk so much?

Well sweetie that’s pretty much the reason why women are alive. They talk and talk, interpret, do the what-do-you-think thing and then they start all over again. Why do we do that? I haven’t the faintest idea, do you?

why is that lady angry at that man?

That lady’s name is Samantha and she’s angry because she found that man in bed with another woman while he was also sniffing around in her coochie, sweetie.

when you take the pill.

Mommy why are you taking that?

Because mommy doesn’t want any more babies sweetie. But I do want to have sex with your father. All the time.

I know someone with nine kids so that means she must really really love her husband.

you only have three children, do you not love daddy enough?

I really didn’t know how to answer that one. How do I explain to my daughter that you can make love in every corner of the room without producing any offspring?

when you reach for a tampon

Mommy, does that go in your baby-hole?

Uhm, yes sweetie.

Mommy, why do you have blood there?

No sweetie, it doesn’t hurt. It’s, well, you should know that your tummy makes a sort of nest in case a little baby might come along. If the baby doesn’t come your tummy cleans up the nest and you have blood. It means you are not pregnant.

My sweetie’s conclusion: “That means I have a baby in my tummy because I didn’t loose my nest. See, no blood.”