Act like a local in 5 steps

I have been to Ibiza many times but take me to a little restaurant in a breathtaking bay where white linen tablecloths dance in the wind and rose whispers my name, and everyone will be able to see the word ‘tourist’ printed on my forehead. Definitely time for some anti-tourist tutoring so you’ll blend in with the locals instead.

Don’t be impressed

Don’t take pictures of the towel rolls or lemons on the lemon tree. Not even of that crate with fresh lobsters or the boat dotting around in the bay. Act like it’s all normal.

Dont ask for the Wi-Fi Code

Once Liesbeth and I talked our way onto the prestigious Soho House rooftop in New York, but being Insta-junkies we asked for the WiFi password – busted. I mean a regular or local would know the password. Dumb. Die. Dumb. Dumb.

Know your menus

You come here every day. Well, you pretend to. You know that menu backwards. Tip; check the menu online before hand and just inquire about the catch of the day. Shake hands with the waiter like you’re best mates, he’ll play along. The customer is king, remember?

Bring your dog

A dog is your ticket to being local. A big dog in particular as it is not as easy to bring on a plane as a four legged friend that fits into a small bag. Only bring small bags by the way. You live around the corner so no tourist bags or rucksacks.

Leave your kids at home

They’ll give you away in a second. A while ago I took my girls shopping in Amsterdam. We live in the suburbs because it’s just a little easier raising your kids there. For old times sake we took the subway and the moment it took off my girls yelled: “Wow. We’re going so fast. We don’t have these at home!”