What I learned from my fashion moms

9 lessons in style and fun

Some time ago, I wrote about the lessons my sweet mother taught me and still teaches me everyday. But in addition to her, I have two extra mothers – my fashion moms. It so happened I sat next to both of them last night and realized all the useful things I’ve learned from these big names in fashion. Read the tips and guess who they’re from.

an editor in chief always travels first class

This one was Harriet’s. Just after she was appointed Cosmopolitan’s Editor in Chief, her assistant booked her a room at the Gramercy Park Hotel – a little off at the time. That’s when Helen Gurley Brown (Mrs. Cosmo) intervened. “You are the EDITOR of Cosmopolitan. You will stay at the Paramount. Period.’’ When my assistant booked me a second-class Thalys ticket just after I’d become Marie Claire’s Editor in Chief, Harriet sputtered uncomfortably. “May, you are an Editor in Chief. You travel first class. What were they thinking!”

 always send a thank you note

This one is Peggy’s. She’s the queen of etiquette. After she’s had dinner somewhere, she puts a postcard in the mail that same evening. I have to admit I’m not really good at that but I do send more cards thanks to Peggy. I’ve even had blanc cards printed with our address. From hand-made paper. And I owe it all to Pegs.

Invest in bags

This comes from them both although it was Harriet who ordered me to finally ‘invest in some designer bags’. And of course I heeded her advice. I’m just such a good girl.

throw stuff out

Peggy goes through her wardrobe every six months. Partly because she doesn’t have a huge amount of space but also because she is really good at throwing stuff out. I do this too: the less you have, the more you wear.

Living well is the best revenge

No matter how bad people treat you, never lower yourself by doing the same. It is an art to package a phrase in such a way that it seems very friendly but packs a serious punch nonetheless. I once had a meeting with several editors in chief when we were asked to move to a bigger meeting room. The lady next to me, who was not my friend, picked up my Moleskine writing journal. Once installed in our new places, I asked her to return my journal. She answered, rather snottily, ‘You don’t pay much attention to your things if you didn’t even notice me taking your journal.’ To which I replied, ‘but I did notice, only I don’t mind you carrying my things for me.’ I can’t tell you how proud Harriet was.

Harriet’s sweetest revenge was when we didn’t get an invitation to the Chanel show (there was a reason because I hadn’t officially been appointed editor-in-chief and Chanel had not been informed properly of Harriet’s position). Together, we went to Bon Marché and she bought a Dior bag. It makes me laugh just writing about it.

Fake it

In the past, when Peggy was asked to handle an unpleasant phone call that she felt was beneath her, she simply used a different name. “Hi, this is Anneke te Pas speaking.” And if she wanted to get into a show, she simply found the name of a journalist she was sure would come and sweet-talked her way in. At the Kenzo show, she even said I was pregnant so we would get a good chair instead of the sad standing places reserved for us.

people shouldn’t get it

This is Harriet’s fashion motto. “I won’t be really happy unless they don’t really get my outfit,” is her credo. For instance, the entire Sanoma sales department was once upset because Harriet had said that she thought dresses were provincial. Fashion-wise, she was quite right of course – a skirt and top are so much more original. And Harriet was just a little ahead of her time.

 food or drinks

That’s Peggy, because Harriet rarely drinks. A glass of port, perhaps, or a drop of champagne. When you go for lunch or dinner with Peggy, you’ll know whether she’s in for food or drinks straight away. Both is not an option, you know.

say yes to everything

Another one by Peggy. Don’t explain you prefer not to have cake or don’t want a glass of wine. It makes everything complicated for everybody. So Peggy said ‘Yes please’ to every office treat. And tipped it into the bin unnoticed. Not a problem if nobody knows about it.