How to be Parisian

We suspect strongly that there is a particular combination of genes in the DNA that make the French girls who they are. They always seem to be more clever, slimmer and more stylish than the rest of us. With just recently being to Paris I’m still very much full of impressions, inspiration and realizations that I just simply do not have those genes. But as they say; fake it till you make it. You never know though. With a little good will, giving it all your best and a copy of How to Be Parisian Wherever You Are in your Celine bag, you may just perfect that certain je ne sais quio.

Let’s start by saying that you should think carefully about what type of Parisienne you want to be. Do you want to be that woman who sits at L’Avenue, drinking champagne, shopping on Rue Saint-Honoré and always being transported by a private driver? Then the following is for you:

• Wear French brands. The French in general are quite chauvinistic and everything that is created within their our own borders is preferred. Celine, Chanel, Saint Laurent, Givenchy and Isabel Marant all do well. For the variety that is a tad more affordable, then you need to direct yourself to Maje, Sandro, Vanessa Bruno and Zadig & Voltaire.
• Wear Black. Anna Wintour says she would never be seen in a “head to toe black” outfit. Clearly, the French pay no heed to this and almost paint it on themselves, choosing black en masse.
• Quality over quantity. You just do not see flobbly highstreet sweaters going by. What you do see are pieces that can last for years and are tailored with outrageously luxurious materials. Timeless, classic, always perfect.
• Buy a designer bag. With every 100 meters you walk you will see an amazing designer bag sashaying by. Chanel, Saint Laurent, Celine. Doing without is simply not an option. Once perched on a terrace you of course do not put the bag on the ground but you place it on the special bag stool next to you or in the case of a small purse, you tuck it on your chair between your back and the back of the chair.
• Begin smoking. In New York I was nearly deported for lighting up a cigarette. In Paris this is completely the other way around. Everyone smokes, especially the girls of fashion.
• Throw all your makeup away. French girls do not wear makeup. Or at least, they use invisible makeup. A tiny bit is already too much. Because of their already perfect gene mix the au naturel French girl is pretty enough as she is.
• Have perfect hair. You can go two ways. Whether it is perfectly blow-dried, not too big or too sprayed, but very smart and pretty and dancing and shiny. The other option is to not wash it for 4 months, don’t brush it, don’t care for it, don’t do anything to it. You match this only with one of the aforementioned French Expensive Brand outfits, perfectly manicured hands and invisible makeup. You could not be more French, c’est pas normale.

But for those of who have no desire to venture on these spending sprees and prefer a more artistic look can also enjoy being a Parisienne, no problem. Take the metro to the Marais and Swap L’Avenue for the terrace of Cafe Charlot. On this side of the city, the streets are flooded with fashionable figures dressed in over the top pieces, theatrical fabrics and ugly-but-trendy shoes.

• Wear Rick Owens or Asian brands. Not familiar with the look of Rick Owens? Google it and then you’ll know exactly what I mean. This stylie is found everywhere. Large trousers with a cross hanging at the ankles, enormous shoes with three double thick soles, lots of black black black and loads of big big big. With each figure that stomped along we said, “well, it could be a bum or a famous designer.” Rick Owens may also be exchanged for Y3, Issey Miyake and Yohji Yamamoto, as long as it’s Asian and hysterical.
• Buy a designer bag. Because that is also a must. But not the polished versions of the L’Avenue girls, here we wear Balenciaga, Dries van Noten, Marni and Alexander McQueen.
• Buy sneakers. Heels are unacceptable. You must wear white sneakers (preferably Adidas Stan Smith of course), but Jeremy Scott x Adidas is also an option as is Raf Simons x Adidas. If it’s flat and a bit weird, you’re onto it.
• Bolt your shower closed. People here are not looking so terribly well kept. A shower is just a waste of space in your cramped Parisian apartment so barricade the thing closed or turn it into an extra wardrobe to keep all those oversized clothes.
• Do something with a hat. Very important. A crazy cap or hilarious hat makes every look complete.