6 LESSONS IN LOVE

Kissing across borders

You’ve probably had a look across the border before and hopefully you’ll be spending your August abroad. The focus of attention is a phenomenon known as: the kiss. Every kissing-country has it’s own kissing-customs, so read this to prevent uncomfortable situations when pouting the lips.

Here we go.

Let’s start in The Netherlands. It seems this country’s been going through a kiss-change. Traditionally it’s three kisses starting on the right cheek of the receiver, then left then right again. The younger generation however has recently taken a preference to kissing just once on the left cheek while encasing a hug.

Baci Italiani, Italians are very generous with their kisses so don’t be surprised if people you’ve just met moved towards your cheek. A point of attention is that they start on the right where the Dutch go left. After one kiss it’s ‘basta’ for the Italians, they leave it at that.

Spain, twice and you move on to the tapas. It won’t surprise you that more kissing goes on here than in Italy. From your first encounter to in-between rendezvous’s, there’s kissing. It’s only two so it’s a fast finish, which means you can enjoy your tapas and vino blanco.

France is complicated. The French kiss everyone. Everywhere. But kissing in France is a delicately complicated issue. Thousands of factors play a part in this. Among them the variation of relationships (the baker gets a different kiss than the aunt) and the location. Roughly said you could get away with two simple kisses. Some French say four kisses are for the lower social classes but I know many stylish Parisians that kiss in quadruple. I’ll tell you; that’s quite an undertaking if you’re the last one to arrive. My advice? Follow the lead of your hostess and if you mess up just tell them you’re Dutch and you always kiss three times (even if they don’t, see point 1).

Sweden; kissing is prohibited. In Sweden kissing is not a custom and considered very unusual. You only have lip contact with your loved one. A kiss is just like saying ‘I Love You’ in Italy, not done. To a friend you say ‘Ti voglio bene’ and never ‘Ti amo’. Just so you know and don’t get yourself into a fix. In Sweden you hug. Arms wrapped around each other, head over the shoulder of the huggee and you let go after about two seconds.

America, easy does it. They kiss twice under the spangled banner. The kiss is deployed on the right; same as the Dutch just stop one kiss sooner.