Here they are: the differences between men and women.
You may have caught this (slight chance) but I love anything that has to do with man versus women stuff. Last week I got wheeled into a discussion about the differences between men and women and how they portray themselves. We came up with the following list and I speak for many when I say the stated examples are just really, really true.
about the 5-minute rule
It’s no secret that I always run five minutes late, a very annoying trait, I know this. I know! Well it’s all because of the 5-minute rule. No matter how long it takes, I will always say that it took 5 minutes. If I’m standing naked, in front of my fitting mirror, stressing out because of an outfit crisis and a man-person asks me if I’m almost ready (hate that question by the way), my answer is: ‘ Yes, just give me 5 minutes.’ Apparently men also have a 5-minute rule. When they’re in the pub and you’re at home, waiting, they always say they’ll be home in 5 minutes. Of course they show up about three and a half hours later.
about looking in the mirror
A woman who looks in the mirror always sees rolls, spots and other unusual things. A man looking in the mirror can see muscles that aren’t actually there.
about shopping
When a man needs a new Levi’s, he goes to the Levi’s store and buys a new Levi’s. When a woman needs a new pair of jeans, she goes to all the stores to see what is available and then back to the first one. In the meantime she spotted three pairs of shoes, bought a dress that was absolutely necessary, and probably bought a bag during the whole process. And those jeans? What jeans? But hé, look at my new shoes!
about going to the hairdressers
When going to the hairdressers I have usually had to wait a month or two before being able to make the appointment. Once in the chair I say something in the line of: “ Yes I would like my hair to look better but don’t take off too much. I prefer as little a possible. Only the ends, please. Or rather the tips of the ends. Could you cut it without actually cutting it? “I end up paying 80 quid and very little has happened, while telling everyone I’ve been to the hairdressers and it’s OMG; short. A man visits the local barber around the corner without an appointment, pays 20 quid for a whole new look and never says a word about it.
about between the sheets
Getting your man’s “member” up and running doesn’t involve a lot of effort. Bringing the party to an ejaculate end is not really a problem either. But getting a woman to climax – that’s a whole different ball game (exceptions noted). Commonly women “come” less during sex and most men have no idea where the clitoris is located on the female body. Forehead? Lower back? Upper arm? No idea.
about cleaning-up
Mostly women are very neat when it comes to their house (exceptions noted, again) but they seem to create a state of chaos in their car. With men it’s the other way around. Mushrooms seem to grow off their walls but their car is as sterile as an operating room.
